The Most Important Meal of the Day

          I’m a breakfast eater.  It’s a habit instilled by my mother, a woman who knew that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  Though I am now a disciple of the morning meal, that wasn’t always the case.  As a sleep craving teenager, I would have eschewed eating at the crack of dawn if were it not for the various tortures my mother employed to roust me out of bed.  First, from the bottom of the steps, she called.  When I refused to rise, she mounted the stairs.  Now, with a glass of water in hand, mother delivered her second request to get up.  When I refused, and I always refused, she dipped her hand into the glass and flicked cold water at my face.  She was unrelenting.  It was easier to eat than to deal with a watery extra ten minutes in the sack.
     Eighteen years of indoctrination did the trick.  When I went off to college, I made time for breakfast.  Unlike home, where the menu might be oatmeal today and eggs tomorrow, the dining hall served oatmeal and eggs every day.  And French toast and assorted cold cereals and Danish.  I could have a side of Danish with any breakfast choice or consume a breakfast of Danish alone.  This truly was the best meal of the day.

     When the days of my mother and the dining hall preparing my meals ended, my commitment to breakfast did not falter.  My morning bill of fare expanded beyond traditional breakfast foods.  I still hated getting out of bed, but the thought of something scrumptious to eat lured me to the kitchen.  It might be a left over slice of pizza with everything on it or the microwaved contents of a doggie bag.  Anything qualified as breakfast.

     I looked into the refrigerator this morning.  I saw sesame chicken, no rice, left over from Chinese take out.  I decided to make a pot of rice.  I could finish the left over Chinese chicken with this rice.  Within a few days, I could use the extra rice as a side dish with some American chicken.  The rice was cooked perfectly.  I reheated the sesame chicken and combined the two.  I decided to eat while working at the cluttered computer area in my kitchen.  Bad idea.  While simultaneously viewing a web page and bearing down with a fork on an oversized chunk of chicken, my plate flopped off the edge of the desk and crashed to the floor. 

     I always wanted and recently got ceramic tile floors.  They are kid proof and dog proof and, as I was about to learn, Chinese food proof.  As a kid, I thought ceramic tile was the greatest thing.  I slid around on it in my stocking feet, pretending to be Peggy Fleming.  Today, as I watched my plate fly across the floor with the speed of a hockey puck, the skating fantasy vaporized.  These floors aren’t like an ice rink.  They are like a billiard table.  First comes the break, then the flying off in fifteen different directions.  As the shards of my plate traveled, they lost their load of rice, chicken, and broccoli.  The pieces moved with so much momentum that they ricocheted off the island and cabinet bases.  The result was a distribution throughout the kitchen with some infiltration into the dining room.  Rice has amazing adhesive qualities.  I found it clinging to my pajama legs and my ankles.

     But, as I said, ceramic tile is disaster proof.  There were no cuts as there might have been in the days of vinyl flooring.  There was no soaking into the cracks as there would have been with wood floors.  All I had to do was scrape it up and mop.

     Besides teaching me the importance of breakfast, my mother instilled my belief that everything happens for a reason.  The kitchen was due for cleaning.  Now it’s spic and span.  The PJ's were due for laundering.  The sesame chicken could have reached it’s expiration date, so I might have avoided a bout of intestinal distress. 

     Now, what’s for breakfast? 

A Badge for Bigotry?

     I'm going to keep it short and sweet today.  Hooray for Christopher Baker, who returned his Eagle Scout medal, his way of protesting the Boy Scout's of America's anti-gay position.  http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/eagle-scouts-return-medals-over-organization-anti-gay-184508093.html  Boo-hiss to the Boy Scouts hierarchy for refusing to allow gays to act as leaders or to be members of the Boy Scouts.
     Here's a long article on whether or not there is a connection between homosexuality and child molestation.  http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/facts_molestation.html  The article freely admits that studies on this topic are hard to conduct.  So, forget studies.  Just ask yourself, do you really think a gay man is any more interested in pedophilia than a heterosexual man?  During my twenty five years at the welfare board, I ran across a handful of child molesters.  Those jokers were all married to women - at least before they got caught and went to jail.
     I suggest that the Boy Scout organization ask themselves a question.  Does the ban on homosexual members and leaders really exclude them?  Isn't it possible that there are gay people in the organization right now who are so closeted that no one knows their secret?  It's about time the Boy Scouts dropped their homophobic stance.  Otherwise, they might as well award badges for bigotry.
   
     An aside: Two snaps up for the mayor of Boston who told Chick-fil-A to take a hike.
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/boston-mayor-letter-chick-fil-menino-dan-cathy-201952237--finance.html        

Not Just for Girls

     I remember the days when I was mortified if I had to take a box of sanitary napkins through the supermarket check out.   I would rather disappear than chose the line with the male cashier.  Of course, that was when I was thirteen.  Fortunately, I graduated to being able to brazenly toss a box of tampons on the belt in front of an eighteen year old boy, even handing him a coupon for said purchase.
     Today, I saw a survival video which details alternative uses for tampons.  If you are stranded in the wilderness, and you have a tampon handy, you can use it to start a fire.  Tampons are constructed of highly flammable material.  Watching the two guys in the video dissect the tampon and extol its virtues was amusing.  Several other uses for a tampon were listed at the end of the fire making video.  Does anyone remember the email that made the rounds that listed one hundred and one uses for coffee filters?  Look out coffee filters, here come tampons.  http://dailyshotofcoffee.com/24-uses-for-coffee-filters/
     Now, getting back to those other uses for tampons:

     1. Trapping bears - Bears are drawn to menstruating females.  Used tampons will help capture of an errant bear.  http://www.idiotlaws.com/bears-like-menstruating-women-wear-tampons-not-pads/

     2. Filtering water

     3. Dressing a wound

     4. Making a candle

     5. Setting a trap

http://willowhavenoutdoor.com/featured-wilderness-survival-blog-entries/yes-thats-a-tampon-in-my-mouth-the-swiss-army-survival-tampon-7-survival-uses/

     There's another use for tampons that gets me all riled up.  They are used in the ear cropping and taping process inflicted on Doberman Pinschers.  I witnessed this process when a Doberman loving friend had her dog's ears done.  After the dog's floppy hound ears were cut into the proper shape, tampons with adhesive on the outside were inserted into the ears.  The ears were pressed against the adhesive, then tape was used to fix the ears in an upright position.  The process was repeated until the ear muscles were strong enough to keep the ears upright.  http://www.protectioncanines.com/Doberman_Ear_Taping.html  My friend wanted her dog to have the signature Doberman look - evil pointy ears.  Ear cropping is illegal in the United Kingdom and most of Europe.  The practice is unrestricted in the United States.  I'd like to see that changed.  You can write letters to your legislators asking them to sponsor a bill to make ear cropping (and tail docking) illegal.  Check out this website: http://www.stopthecrops.com/
Let's have one less use for tampons.

For shame!

   

 

Moveable Feasts

     As kids, we couldn't wait for the Mr. Softee truck to cruise the neighborhood.  I thought ice cream on wheels was the coolest concept.  Sometime during my junior high years, I found out about "roach coaches" - whole meals could come out on trucks.
     New York City is the place where they take the lunch wagon's fare to a whole new level.  You don't have to accept chicken nuggets and greasy burgers.  You can experience crazy gastronomic combinations like vanilla ice cream coated in crushed wasabi peas or burgers topped with caviar and foie gras and wrapped in $100 bills (FYI - you don't eat the $100 bills).  Check out this video featuring some New York City lunch trucks -

http://shine.yahoo.com/shine-food/york-citys-wildest-food-trucks-173600045.html;_ylt=AscS_cJZhMcQI_J_D_jWO7NZc0Iv;_ylu=X3oDMTRuNmwzYWVtBG1pdANCbHVlIFJpYmJvbiBIdW50ZXIgUmVjaXBlcyBUZXN0IDMEcGtnA2RkYzNlNjQ2LWZiNzQtMzBhZS1iZDM5LWYxYThhNzI5NzNjYwRwb3MDMgRzZWMDTWVkaWFGZWF0dXJlZENhcm91c2VsBHZlcgNhMWZhMWQ5NS1jZjY3LTExZTEtOWYwZi0xZjE1Y2MxZWQ4YjE-;_ylg=X3oDMTFoOTlpZTNlBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdAMEcHQDdmlkLWdhbGxlcnk-;_ylv=3

     One thing these meals from diners on wheels have in common is great big globs of cholesterol.  I'd like to suggest that someone offer a low cholesterol menu.  I could start them out with a recipe that my sister-in-law created.

     Colette's Turkey and Salsa Plate


Spray a frying pan with Pam or other cooking spray.
Saute peppers and onions for a couple of minutes.  You could also add mushrooms.
Add ground turkey with the least fat content available.
Fry until the meat is cooked through.
Add a generous glob of hot salsa.
Stir and serve.

This stuff is delicious.

     If this recipe doesn't take you away from the burger joints, you're meshuga.

http://screen.yahoo.com/rabbi-burger-30061110.html?pb_list=f98d7405-694c-44f4-99c7-e6d7f1032375

 
 

Downsizing

     When I was a kid it seemed that a lot of the big, beautiful houses in Mt. Holly were divided into apartments.  They no longer served as stately single family homes.  Families lived in the developments in ranchers and split levels.  Families of four, five, or even six got by on 1400-1600 square feet.  We didn't have a separate room dedicated to laundry.  The washer was in the basement (which also housed an extra TV, and maybe, a ping pong table).  There was no foyer or mud room.  Visitors walked directly into the living room from the front door or the kitchen from the back door.  We didn't even know the term en suite.  Jack and Jill were a couple of clumsy kids, not a dual entry bathroom.  We fought for our turn in sole bath which was usually located in the hall outside the bedrooms.
     In the 1980's, as baby boomers got richer (and maybe their kids demanded their own rooms), McMansions started sprouting up.  Since then, it seems that houses get bigger and bigger.  Mike and I marvel at the grand edifices that pop up on any spot of open ground.  "Who can afford this?" we say time and time again.  What will happen to these big places after the kids grow up?  Will they be divided into apartments like their Victorian predecessors?  It seems to us that houses are getting too big to be sensible.
     Maybe they are also getting too small to be sensible.  Jay Shafer builds tiny houses, some of which are on wheels.  His designs are cute, but I don't know if they make any sense for more than one person.  I think an Airstream makes more sense than Shafer's houses on wheels.  I also don't know if the bigger homes would meet zoning requirements in more developed areas.  Still, these places probably make great vacation homes in remote areas.    http://www.tumbleweedhouses.com/

The Bodega model is 356 sq. ft.

 
     I just read an article about Van Bo Le-Mentzel's one square meter house experiment.  http://news.yahoo.com/behold-worlds-smallest-house-totaling-one-sq-meter-133000787.html  Mr. Le-Mentzel is an architect in Berlin, Germany.  He, along with BMW Guggenheim, is asking people to design and build one square meter houses.  These "houses" will be displayed, and even rented out for $1.30 per night, during the experiment.  When the project is over on July 29, 2012, contributors can retrieve their houses and take them home.  Le-Mentzel fled his homeland of Laos as a refugee; hence, his fascination with portable housing.

Would a homeless person roll one of these around instead of a shopping cart?

     Mr. Le-Mentzel's plywood and plexiglass boxes provide better shelter than a cardboard box, but if I had my druthers, I would rather live in a van down by the river.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3sJa_qJYgM  

Pranks

     Val Patterson, a Utah resident, died last week.  He wrote his own obituary, and in it, confessed to the many pranks he pulled off during his life.  His biggest scam was the PhD. that opened the door to his career as an engineer.  Through a paperwork error, his student loan payment was mistaken for payment of the PhD. processing fees.  Once he got the certificate, he decided to leave school and go to work.  He also stole a safe from a drive in, clogged up a geyser, and raised such a ruckus that he was on the banned for life list at Sea World and Disneyland.  Mr. Patterson died from throat cancer caused by his cigarette habit.  He expressed regret that this habit robbed him of more time with his family.  http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/utah-man-confessional-obituary-owns-life-pranks-180934687.html
     I decided I'm not going to wait until I'm dead to confess my most secret sins.  I'll make a clean breast of it right now.
     When I was in elementary school, I made a crank phone call from the pay phone in the hallway at Hainesport School.
     I borrowed a nickel from Ellen Homan when we went to Harmony Heart Camp, and I never paid her back.
     I robbed a couple of quarters from the change jar in the kitchen cabinet when I was a kid.
     During college, I cleaned for one of the residence counselors.  I accidentally tossed a cleaning rag down the toilet while dumping a bucket of scrub water.  I decided to stay mum about the incident.  The university maintenance people eventually had to deal with the backed up toilet.  Since the counselor's husband had a colon problem, no one suspected I was the cause. 
     When I was out of a job for a while, back in the mid 70's, a friend of the family hired me to help clean up a rental between tenants.  Every day for three weeks, we stopped at a deli to pick up lunch before going to the apartment.  My friend, an older woman, always gave me just enough money to get the least expensive hoagie which we split for our noon time meal.  After about two weeks, I was sick of the same old thing.  I ordered a roast beef hoagie and paid the difference.  My boss carried on long afterward about how tasty our "accidental" sandwich had been.  For me, each re-telling was delicious.
     I don't know if I will write my obit.  That's a tough assignment.  Maybe I'll leave it to the undertaker who will stick with just the facts.  She was born.  She died.  She worked. She retired.  She left some people behind.  The ones I leave behind can add the juicy details.  I hope I'll leave them with delicious memories.  
   
   
     
   

Keeping Up to Date

     John Tettis, RV's driving instructor, taught me to drive in the summer of 1970.  Back then we had power steering, power brakes, and seat belts.  One of the cardinal rules of driving was to keep our hands on the wheel in the ten o'clock and two o'clock positions.
     That's a rule that can be ignored these days.  You'll want to keep your hands at nine o'clock and three o'clock, or even at eight o'clock and four o'clock.  The reason for this is the airbag.  Positioning your hands the old way will cause you to smack yourself in the face if your airbag deploys.
     Another thing they didn't have in 1970 is anti-lock brakes.  Many people lift their foot off the brake pedal when they hear the banging and feel the pulsing of the anti-lock braking system.  That's the wrong thing to do.  Bear down on that brake pedal as hard as you can and steer carefully, without jerking the wheel.
     Check out this article -
http://autos.yahoo.com/news/4-things-you-didn-t-learn-in-driver-s-ed.html
     To be the best driver you can be, you might also want to take a defensive driving course.  The Burlington County Sheriff's Department sponsors a one day class.  Completion of the class earns you a 5% (or better) deduction on your auto insurance.  There is a $10.00 fee.  Call 609-265-3788 to register by phone.  You can also register online through the website.
http://www.co.burlington.nj.us/upload/Sheriff/Images/DDC_Program.pdf
       

Divorce, Oregon Style

     Elle Zober recently went through the crushing disappointment of losing her husband of ten years to a younger woman.  Now she's a single mom and has to dispose of her marital home.  She decided that the best way to accomplish this is with truth and humor.  The "For Sale" sign posted on her front lawn reads, "Husband left us for a 22 year old.  House for sale by scorned, slightly bitter, newly single owner ....  Adulterers need not apply."  The ex-husband is okay with the marketing tactics and even went halfsies on the sign.  According to the former Mrs. Zober, both she and her ex want to sell the house and avoid foreclosure.  http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/ex-wife-uses-story-cheating-former-husband-sell-221218162.html
Once you click the link to the story, be sure to click KPTV-FOX 12 (located at the top of the article).  When the Fox-12 news box pops up, scroll down to the section marked "Most Popular Stories" and click on "Jilted ex-wife's unique tactic to sell Beaverton home."  You'll be able to watch a video interview with Elle Zober.
   

You can buy a frig magnet of this sign.  Elle Zober has set up a site for selling them.  Now that's enterprising.  http://www.greatfamilyhome.com/merchandise.html

    
It's obvious that Ms. Zober is a creative person.  One of the outlets of her creativity is her greeting card business.  Check that out.  http://www.totallyradcards.com/contact.html  Ms. Zober's speciality is birth annoucements, but she also does holiday, thank you, and graduation cards, invitations, and save the date cards.  I would like to suggest another product to add to the line - divorce announcements.  Maybe those inclined to proclaim their new status by way of announcements could include a refrigerator magnet in the mailing which contains their new contact information.    
 

Girls Rule

     I have had a small dog under foot for the past thirty two years.  I noticed early on, when I took these dogs to the vet, that most veterinarians in these parts are women.  When I was a kid, women in the work force, who were not in the typing pool, were teachers or nurses.  These days they are accountants, engineers, lawyers, and doctors.  Pinelands OB/GYN Associates located in Medford is an all female group of six doctors.
     New research, published by James Flynn, an expert in IQ testing, proves something I've know since I was six years old - girls are smarter than boys.  Flynn suspects that women are scoring higher on tests and achieving more because of "the effect of modernity on women."  Modernity, schmodernity.  What he really means is women could reach their full potential once gender roles stopped holding them in "their place."  Mr. Flynn also suspects that the multi-tasking we women do so well, has boosted our brain power.  http://shine.yahoo.com/secrets-to-your-success/women-higher-iqs-men-says-science-165600313.html
     Medical school, law school, dental school, and pharmacy school have nearly equal enrollments of men and women.  In 2011, there were 170 female medical school graduates in New Jersey versus 167 male graduates.  http://www.statehealthfacts.org/comparebar.jsp?ind=435&cat=8  Since 1982 women have earned more Bachelor's degrees than men.  Since 1981, they have earned more Master's degrees than men.  http://www.pay-equity.org/PDFs/ProfWomen.pdf  Women buy 54% of the cars in the United States.  http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/women-buying-cars-30335.html  Single women buy more homes than single men.http://money.msn.com/home-loans/article.aspx?post=341184a3-116f-4cb2-8123-0e8afe3d59fb  The real financial power houses are us old girls.  The website She-conomy.com explains that fifty-plus women control more than three fourths of the nation's financial wealth.  The site tells men how to market to this group.
     Forgive me.  I just can't help myself sometimes, but -


     If you want it done right, hire a woman.


     Ginger Rogers did everything he did backwards... and in high heels.


     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfHBPusZg6E

     Yes, you can!


       
                  

Roadside Rhyme

     Every summer our family went to North Carolina or Florida for the annual vacation.  It was a long, hot trip in a car without air conditioning.  Burma Shave signs helped to make the ride a little more bearable.  I still remember one of the rhymes - Said Farmer Brown/ Who's bald/ On top/ Wish I could/ Rotate the crop/ Burma-Shave.  I had just learned about crop rotation in school that year, so I got the joke, and that felt cool.  However, I didn't understand the "Burma Shave" part.  I thought it might be something you said after delivering a punchline, like saying "psyche" after fooling somebody.  My mother explained that Burma Shave was shaving cream, and the Burma Shave people put up the signs to attract attention to their product.
     The signs appeared from 1923 to 1965.  The messages either pushed the product (A shave/ That's real/ No cuts to heal/ A soothing/ Velvet after-feel/ Burma-Shave) or emphasized safety and exceeding the speed limit (Don't take a curve/ At 60 per/ We hate to lose/ A customer/ Burma-Shave).  Twice, prizes were offered via the signs - a free jar of shave cream for sending in a bumper and a free trip to Mars for sending in 900 empty jars.  The company received a few fenders, so they made good on the promise and sent out free jars.  A grocery store owner sent in 900 empty jars and received a free trip to Moers (pronounced "Mars"), Germany along with the warning, If a trip to Mars you earn, remember, friend, there's no return.  The name Burma-Shave became so well known that Canadians started referring to the practice of holding political signs on the side of the road at election time as "burmashaving."
     Phillip Morris acquired the Burma-Shave company in 1963, and the signs were taken down by 1965.  In 1994 and 1995 Reminisce Magazine posted Burma-Shave style signs to promote their magazine.  They used two slogans, Today's kids/ Sure missed a treat, No moonlight rides/ In a rumble seat/ Reminisce Magazine, and, We played marbles/ And climbed trees/ Now kids can't play/ Without batteries/ Reminisce Magazine.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burma-Shave  Each state received one set of signs.  Towns had to enter a contest to compete for the signs.  Southampton Township won the privilege of displaying New Jersey's signs.  Over the years, those signs have deteriorated.  Recently, they were restored by Holly Doyle, owner of the Mt. Holly Jersey Made store.  The signs were re-dedicated on July 3, 2012.  http://www.southamptonnj.org/vincentowns-burma-shave-signs-restored/
     So, take a ride out Landing Street to see the signs.  If you go on a Sunday, you could also stop at the Jack Allen Memorial Early Country Living Museum (located next to the signs).  The museum is open from 1:00 p.m. till 4:00 p.m.

    

  

Dangerous Dogs

     Lennox, a dog that lived in Northern Ireland, was recently put down by authorities.  His crime was being a pit bull, or looking like a pit bull.  http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/lennox-dog-put-sleep-belfast-145939624.html  The Dangerous Dog Act of 1991 makes it illegal in the United Kingdom to own Pit Bull Terriers, the Japanese Tosa, the Dogo Argentino, the Fino Brasileiro, any cross breed of these four types, or any dog that looks like any of these four breeds.  This legislation was passed by Parliament in response to several particularly vicious and highly publicized dog attacks.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangerous_Dogs_Act_1991
     Lennox had never bitten a human or attacked another animal.  He never ran loose.  During his two year "incarceration," he was always well behaved.  By all accounts he was a gentle, loving animal.  Since he was seized in 2010, the battle has raged over the injustice of it all.  For the past two years Lennox's owner has touted the dog's spotless reputation and offered to muzzle him around strangers, if only she be allowed to take him home.  Too little, too late.  I don't know why owner Caroline Barnes did not take advantage of a 1997 amendment to the Dangerous Dog Act.  Any court in the UK could have ordered that Lennox be placed on the Index of Exempted Dogs, if only Ms. Barnes had approached the court.
     Before Pit Bulls, the Doberman Pinscher was the mean dog of the 70's and early 80's.  Remember the pair that terrorized Tom Selleck in Magnum, P.I.?  After that Rotweillers became the bad dogs.  Warren Zevon celebrated their nasty reputation in one of his songs.  http://www.metrolyrics.com/rottweiler-blues-lyrics-warren-zevon.html  Now, it's Pit Bulls.  What it has always been is people.  Some people think a vicious dog is good for protection.  That same dog is good for getting you sued if it "defends."  Maybe deep down, a small minded owner feels tough if their dog is tough.  Maybe they flatter themselves by thinking they are in control of the beast.  Some idiots enjoy dog fights.  Sudden popularity of any breed causes irresponsible breeders to increase the output of dogs without regard for good temperament.
     Whatever the reason for having a vicious dog, it's a bad reason.  Aggressive dogs should put down so that they never harm anyone.  They should never be allowed to breed and pass their genes down to another generation.  They shouldn't be tolerated for one minute longer after they've shown aggression.  I don't care what anyone says about re-educating them.  The dog, though much loved, is the lowest member on the family totem pole.  He or she should love everybody and be completely trustworthy.  Lennox was probably that kind of dog.  Too bad no one thought to get him an exemption.  Bad owner!      
            

Poison Proof

  Opossums are immune to just about any toxin that exists - snakebite, the toxin that causes botulism, even ricin, the toxin found in the castor oil plant.  The American opossum produces a substance called Lethal Toxin-Neutralizing Factor (LTNF).  Some research showed that the this substance, extracted from the opossum and injected in mice, protected the mice from various deadly snake venoms.  This information came to light and was published in 1999.  So why hasn't anyone carried to ball a little farther to see if LTNF could help humans?  http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/opossum-protein-makes-them-immune-nearly-poisons-could-190604532.html
     Maybe my mind makes oddball connections, but this story made me think of the the first Men in Black movie.  The cat had the universe dangling from the collar around his neck.  How many secrets and solutions are right in front of our faces, hiding in plain sight?  How many times has someone stumbled upon something "interesting" and tossed it in a drawer?  I had a high school history teacher who asked us to decide if things changed because of social, political, or economic pressure.  I always seemed to conclude that money made the world go round.  In this case, I suspect the pharmaceutical companies can reap greater financial rewards from something like Premarin.   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premarin  Snake bites and botulism can be treated with other products, so the opossum's cure all factor might upset the financial apple cart.  There's also a social factor.  The animal rights people might get up in arms if opossums have to begin producing LTNF the way mares have to produce urine for Premarin.  That could wreck some political havoc in the upper echelons of biopharma.
     Look at what that history teacher started!  Thanks, Mr. McGeever.
       

Immunities

     Mom always said, "You have to eat a peck of dirt before you die."  I heard this every time I dropped a snack on the floor and whined that it was ruined.  Mom just gave it a rinse or dust off and handed it back to me.  As I got older, I complained about the grease spatters on the stove or our less than pristine bathroom.  You see, Mom was not the most fastidious of housekeepers.  A Finnish study just came out suggesting that families who own dogs have babies who suffer less respiratory illness and need fewer antibiotics.  Dirt and allergens, the dog's contribution to the household, seem to stimulate little one's immune systems.  http://news.yahoo.com/babies-dog-owning-families-may-healthier-041915748.html 
     The Finns must have spent a bunch of money on the project.  Why bother studying something that is already an established scientific principle?  Edward Jenner figured out how to vaccinate people against small pox in 1796.  Louis Pasteur expanded our understanding of germ theory in the mid to late 1800's.  Practitioners of homeopathy dispense a little of the problem to effect a cure.  Maybe the guy who set up the study was a dog lover who wanted to prove to young parents that pets won't harm babies.
     All this reminds me of another of my mother's mantras - you'll feel better if you get up and move around.  That was a nicer way of saying, "Suck it up," or "Walk it off."  I got so good at walking off colds, headaches, and menstrual cramps that I got awards for perfect attendance in the eighth through twelfth grades.
     So, don't worry too much if Junior takes a bite out of a mud pie.  Science has proven that if you grow up dirty, you'll grow up strong.  Geez, Kelly Clarkson even sang a song along those lines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CH_dWijufDo

       

People Are Crazy

     I couldn't get a song out of my head this morning - the Bill Currington song with the lyrics, "God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy."  I like crazy people.  Not the murder and mayhem crazies, rather the hot mess kind of crazies.  They make life interesting and funny.
     Thomas Daigle and his wife Sandra just made their final house payment of $620.00 with 62,000 pennies.  Some might call that crazy.  Mr. Daigle calls it making the last installment "memorable." http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/man-makes-final-house-payment-pennies-144051687.html  I never paid a bill totally with pennies, but almost.  My sister and I went out for a snort at Dunleavy's.  At the end of the evening (and this was before ATM machines) we discovered that we hadn't brought enough money.  Since we lived just down the road, my sister went home for some cash while I waited at the bar.  She came back after about 15 minutes and plopped her piggy bank down on the table!  The tab was paid with her collection of spare change.
      People do crazy things for their dogs like buying them diamond collars, taking them for spa days, or having them bar mitzvahed. https://www.google.com/webhp?source=search_app#hl=en&gs_nf=1&tok=y_g6zW0q1bhaGlXhbhnXyA&cp=12&gs_id=1a&xhr=t&q=bar+mitzvahed&pf=p&sclient=psy-ab&oq=bar+mitzvahe&gs_l=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=a2e370afc0354df8&biw=1024&bih=653  I'd like to say I'm not that nuts, but I did stage a wedding for my first dog Spike.  When she rejected her suitor, I had her spayed.  Does that count as a divorce?
     No matter what the weather, the Naked Cowboy makes his living walking around New York City in his BVD's.  https://www.facebook.com/NkdCowboy?sk=photos  That's not for me.  But I once went to Jamesway in my pajamas.  They had a drawing for shoppers who came dressed in pajamas.  The prize was big, so I figured "what the heck."
     So, what's the silliest thing you've ever done?  It felt good didn't it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv3ujzEC6jg

Taylor-ed for Smiles

     I usually have to chuckle every time I pass the Taylor Rental Center on Route 38 in Mt. Laurel.  That's because the franchise owner puts funny sayings on the signs in front of his store.  I wondered when this started, so I called Craig Fisher.  He's the third generation of Fishers to operate the Mt. Laurel rental center.  There is another store on Route 541 in Burlington.
     Mr. Fisher told me that his grandfather started posting the quips thirty years ago as a way to attract business.  His sources were newspapers, Reader's Digest, and quote books.  These days the witticisms come mostly from the internet.  The only rule is that the sayings are limited to twenty-two characters per line so they fit on the signs.
     Here's what the Fishers have posted now:

I can identify with this one.

     You can't help but want to do business with happy people.  I've rented from Taylor twice and been pleased both times.  
     Maybe I could get this up on one of their signs:

Oh, Deer

     Sometimes on a snowy morning, my mother would enter my bedroom, shake me awake, and shush me.  We would tip toe to the window to watch a deer in the back yard.  Though they occurred occasionally, these visits were random and spaced far enough apart that they were a real treat for us.
     These days, the woods have shrunk, and the deer prowl housing developments.  My sister finds piles of deer doodles all over her front lawn in a bustling D.C. suburb.  My friends and neighbors complain that their landscapes and vegetable gardens are nibbled to death by the deer.  This spring, when the ground was soft, I found deer prints everywhere.
     I always thought deer were gentle creatures that spooked and ran at the slightest noise.  Last night I met someone whose dog was attacked by a deer.  The dog's wounds were pretty serious.
     So how do we avoid the deer?  Here are some methods:

1. Landscape with deer resistant plants.  Lowe's and Home Depot clearly mark their deer resistant plants and shrubs.  As a rule, deer dislike lilacs, evergreens, black eyed susans, lavender, things with hairy or spiny leaves, or highly aromatic plants.
2. Scare them away.  If you do this, you have to change your method every couple of weeks.  You can hang CD's in trees, flash lights, or purchase a machine that emits ultra sonic noise.
3. Use deer repellent.  Commercial repellents are available, but they are expensive.  One home remedy is to hang Dial soap in trees and bushes.  I think you would have to pierce the soap through the middle, so it doesn't fall to the ground as it dissolves.  It will last a long time.
You can also make home made deer repellent.  Here's the recipe:

     1 cup milk
     1 egg
     A few tablespoons of cooking oil
     1 tablespoon liquid soap
     1 quart water
     1 teaspoon hot chili oil
Mix in a blender (I think you can probably just shake vigorously).  Spray every 5 - 7 days.

4. Put black, plastic drainage pipe around trees if deer are using your tree trunks to shed their antlers.  For some reason, they don't like to cross the pipes.  I think a better idea is to string fishing line around trees.  It's invisible and scares the deer when it makes contact with their hides.
5.  Take advantage of the deer's fear of predators.  Scatter dog or human hair clippings.  Buy a dog decoy and sit it in the garden.  You could also make a scare crow and move it around.  Your scare crow should wear light colored clothing that deer can see at night.  Another alternative is buying blood meal or predator urine to place at the perimeter of your property, but it's cheaper to let your dog do it's business around the edges of your yard.  I don't know if this is against the law in Hainesport, but Organic Gardening magazine recommends that the man of the house have a beer with his dinner.  After dinner he should take a stroll in the garden and mark his territory!
6. If you are growing a vegetable garden, cover small plants with cages.
7. Remove bird feeders.  Deer like corn and bird seed.
8. You could try fencing, but deer can jump as high as nine feet.  Some people use electric fencing to zap nocturnal visitors.

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Deer
http://www.getridofthings.com/pests/varmints/get-rid-of-deer.htm

If all else fails, you could try a tree stand!  Just kidding.

Mill Race Village Craft Shows

     I was lucky enough to participate in the Mill Race Village craft show on Saturday.  In spite of the heat, I had a good day.  I met some nice people, met some nice dogs, and sold some flip flops.  The next craft sale will be held on July 28th.  That day is also Hollystock - Mt. Holly's version of Woodstock.  If you thought Pillage the Village was crazy with fair maidens and knights-errant running around, wait until the hippies show up.
     The craft show dates for the rest of the year are 7/28/12, 8/25/12, 9/29/12, 10/27/12, and 11/24/12.  If you make crafts, come and sell them.  Spaces rent for $30.00.  They have a nifty referral (or discount) program.  If you bring in a new crafter, you'll get a $10.00 discount on your space.  If you aren't crafty, come and see what local artists are making.
     Here are some pictures of a few of Saturday's vendors.

She calls herself Crazy Dog Lady.  If you miss the craft show, you can buy her creations at Petallica Pet Boutique located at 37 White Street.

Fido will be puttin' on the dog in one of these frocks.

Holly Doyle, owner/operator of Jersey Made, sells the work of 40 local artists in her shop.  She also sells locally produced honey, and yes, she lets you have free samples.  Jersey Made is located at 33 White Street.    

I'll be teaching a kumihimo class at Jersey Made on Thursday evening, July 26th, from 7:00 p.m. till 9:00 p.m.

These ladies had some nifty items.

The family that crafts together lasts together.  The husband is known as Bottle Stopper Guy, but he does lots of other wood crafts.  His wife makes way cool wine charms.