The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

     Sometimes my creative writing teacher pulls a few words out of the air and tells us to write a story that includes those words.  A while back she gave us this list -
 
     planet
     giraffes
     singing
     winter
     purple
     dictator

Here's my result:

         Life would never be the same.  The resistance had failed.  He had fought hard, but he was one small person against a mighty force.  He was subdued, just as all the rest were subdued – forced to submit to the barber, commanded into the showers, and dressed in the uniform of his oppressors.  Along with his peers, he was marched off to one of the prisons that the tyrant called an education center.  

     The center was one of the most miserable places on the planet.  The long, stark halls echoed with the footsteps of his fellow detainees.  The sentries, frightening beings as tall as giraffes, demanded absolute silence.  It seemed nothing escaped their vigilant eyes.  From time to time, they took someone to the overseer for disciplinary action.  These occasional examples had the desired effect of bringing the rank and file back to order.

     He and the other militants were divided into groups.  Hereafter, he would spend his days with his company.  Their instructor took them to a room, assigned places, and handed out supplies.  The lessons began and wore on all morning.  Just before the meal break, the instructor commanded them to sing.  How could his fellows comply so readily?  Surely they didn’t feel like singing these light-hearted songs.  He alone would remain true to his cause.  He would move his mouth, but no sound would escape.  He knew that learning their songs was part of the brainwashing.

     The mid-day break was part of their trickery, too.  A few minutes of free time followed an inadequate meal.  If he only had enough time to recruit some allies, maybe they could make an escape.  This had to be done quickly while the warm fall days lingered.  If he couldn’t get out before the coming winter, he would be stuck here until spring.  Today he would observe the others.  Tomorrow he would approach those he judged most likely to be his confederates.

     An afternoon of more drilling and propaganda followed.  At the end of the day the overseer opened the doors and all the inmates returned to their home bases.  Now the interrogations began.  He would say enough to satisfy the despot without saying anything at all.  His technique seemed to work.  The light faded.  Orange and purple skies turned to black night.  He was sleepy when he finally settled into his bunk.  The dictator stood in the doorway, watching her little subject.  He didn’t want to go back to school.  He refused a good night kiss.  Maybe tomorrow would be a better day. 

     To all current and former dictators, I hope this puts a smile on your face.  

     

Wedding Trends

     Still on the subject of weddings: I just saw a video about the latest trends for weddings.  We actually did one of the things on the list.  There are two other items on the list that I would like to have done, but didn't pan out.  I never realized I'm so cool!
     Mike and I were engaged in 2007.  I wanted him to wear a "man-gagement" ring.  He turned me down flat.  Low and behold, guys are wearing them now.  While this is a new trend in the United States, it's been going on for ages in other parts of the world.  I was inspired to ask Mike to wear a pre-marriage ring because my German born friend told me about the European custom of men and women wearing wedding rings on the right hand, and switching them to the left hand during the marriage ceremony.
     Some people are dressing up their pets in tiny gowns and tuxedos and including them in the wedding ceremony.  I like this.  When I went to my cousin's wedding in France, there were two dogs at the reception.  Theme weddings are "in."  Surprise weddings are "inner."  Mark Zuckerberg invited people over for a bar-be-que that turned out to be his wedding.  The food station idea has been around for a while, but people are adding an interactive factor - think Benihana chef slicing, dicing, and tossing food around.  Photo booths are passe, but belly dancers and fire eaters are "now."  
     My pet peeve at weddings has always been the wedding cake.  It's for looks, and it never tastes very good.  To top that off, guests never get to enjoy it as a dessert.  It gets rolled up in a napkin, toted home, and probably deposited in the trash can.  Wedding desserts have changed to include cupcakes, pies, and chocolates.  We invited our guests back to our house where we laid out an assortment of fruit, nuts, and desserts.  We had a lot of out-of-towners at our wedding, so it was a great way to show them our house and wind down the evening.
     The best thing about our wedding was that it was our kind of party, and we had fun.  That's the way all weddings should be.

Do you think the sister-sister dance will catch on?

              

http://shine.yahoo.com/fashion/the-shine-man-gagement-rings-on-the-rise.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9AqXlt5Qoo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk-BbVVt5AI

Lost and Found

    It seemed I could never lose anything – not permanently.  Objects might be lost, but they always turned up, usually within a year’s time.

     I first experienced this pattern when I went off to college.  I packed a pair of earrings that had belonged to my grandmother.  She gave them to me when I turned sixteen.  I wore these treasures on the Saturday nights I went out fraternity hopping.  One Sunday morning, I woke up missing an earring.  For the remainder of my freshman year, I walked around with my eyes cast downward, looking everywhere for that earring.  On the last weekend at school, my roommate volunteered to wash the floor after we packed our belongings and moved them out.  She felt the scrub rag catch on something as she wiped under the radiator.  My lost earring was found.

     Years later, another earring was lost.  This one wasn’t a family heirloom, but it had sentimental value.  My two friends pooled their money and purchased gold hoops for me.  I wore these earrings almost every day until one went missing.  Again, I searched everywhere.  It was winter, and big, cowl neck sweaters were popular.  I checked through the folds of my sweater necklines.  No earring.  I didn’t worry.  Surely, it would magically appear within the next twelve months. 

     That winter was particularly cold.  That’s why I was annoyed when when something else got lost – one of the buttons on my  winter coat.  I gripped my coat around me, waiting for the button to find its way back.

     It wasn’t long before I held my coat closed with one hand, but kept the other hand in my pocket.  My black leather glove was gone.  I couldn’t last through that bitter season with bare hands, so I went to the mall and bought new gloves.

     Finally, the weather warmed, and the snow slowly receded.  A friend called to tell me that she found a black leather glove, my glove, poking out of the snow piled along her driveway.  It was crumpled and lined white with salt.  After thawing and rinsing in warm water, no one could tell that the glove had spent the winter in the deep freeze.  The leather became supple again with the first wearing.  Now I had the luxury of two pairs of leather gloves.  The snow continued its retreat.  I found my gold hoop earring in the grass and my coat button along the edge of the front walk.
     Another time, I found something I didn’t realize was lost.  My bathtub drain was backed up, and no amount of liquid drain cleaner would clear the problem.  Before spending money on a plumber, I decided to purchase a drain snake and to follow the “how to snake a drain” instructions I found on the internet.  I spiraled the snake down every drain in the house and hit pay dirt in my bathroom shower.  A gold chain was entangled in the mass of hair that I pulled out of the pipes.  I recognized my necklace and welcomed its return.

     Yes, I was always lucky when it came to material possessions.  However, I was not so lucky when it came to matters of the heart.  I was married in my early twenties and divorced before I was thirty.  Though I dated in my thirties, I never met anyone with whom I could again commit to marry.  I accepted that love was lost forever, and I really didn’t miss it.  I was content with my career and my circle of friends.  Contentment turned to loneliness as I reached my fifties.  Through retirement, relocation, or death, I was losing co-workers, neighbors, friends, and relatives.  My parents died.  These losses were permanent; nobody would be back when the snow melted.

     On August 28, 2010, more than twenty-five years after losing out on love, I remarried.  Love didn’t return to me within one year, or five years or ten years.  But, when it did, it glittered like a loop of gold in the grass on a bright spring day, and I recognized it immediately.

Six Word Memoirs

     Smith Magazine, an online magazine, issued the challenge in 2006 - write a story (or sum up your life) in six words.  They took their inspiration from novelist Ernest Hemingway's six word story, "For Sale: baby shoes, never worn."  In 2007, Smith and publisher Harper Perennial created the Six-Word Memoir book series.  The first in the series was titled Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs from Writers Famous & Obscure.  Three more books followed - Six-Word Memoirs on Love and Heartbreak, Six-Word Memoirs by and for teens, and a second general Six-Word Memoir sequel.  http://www.smithmag.net/
     Last August, Hurricane Irene left Mike and me without power.  A younger couple might have found a different activity to pass the time, but we sat around making up six word stories.  We described ourselves, our families and friends, even our neighbors.  If you read this blog, you'll recognize yourselves:

     Troy, farm boy, lots of toys.
     She bakes, there go our waists.
     German, English, corrects mistakes in both.

     I made my six-word story a self esteem builder - Only average, nothing special, yeah, right!
     Mike offered this - Like a fart, I too faded.  Today, I asked for something a little more blog-worthy, he responded that his six words summed up "an awful lot of us."  Like most men, takes lower road.
 
   
   

Mirror, Mirror

     I have a bunch of empty walls.  It's been a challenge trying to decorate.  All my HGTV viewing has set my standards a bit higher than my budget and creative abilities.  I think I might have knocked this one out of the ball park, though.  Check out what I did with my dining room wall.
     These two pictures were my inspiration:

 
  

Mirror grouping

Shadow Box Frame

                                               















     Of course, it is almost impossible to find round frames in an assortment of sizes.  I found one website that offered to make any size, but it was expensive, and the frames were made from nice wood, like cherry.  That's too nice to paint over.  I went to Joe Adams, a woodworker who's shop, Wood Design and Development, is located off Marne Highway in the Hainesport industrial park.  Working with Joe is a fantastic experience.  He really listens, he offers options, and he's flexible.  I showed him this photograph of a bunch of paper circles taped to the wall:

     We decided that he would cut circular frames from MDF (medium density fibreboard, an engineered wood product).  He also took care of getting glass cut to fit from Creekside Glass and Mirror located in Pemberton.
     Once Joe had cut out the fifteen frames, I had to finish them and add the mirrors.  I ran into a little glitch at the start.  The cut edge of the MDF soaked up paint like a sponge.  A quick consultation with Google gave me some tips for sealing the edges.  Once the edges were sealed, I spray painted with flat black as a primer.  Next, I sprayed with hammered black, one of those cool textured finishes.  The hammered black was a bad choice since it was super shiny.  I sanded all the frames to get rid of the gloss.  I was left with a slightly pitted surface on the frames which was very pleasing.  The last painting step was to spray with satin black.  When the paint dried, I used a little clear caulk inside the frames and dropped in the mirrors.  Finally, I ran a thick bead of clear caulk around the outside edge of the mirror, where it met the frame, making a gasket.  This held the mirrors very securely.

Edge sealing and sanding

Fifteen finished frames

  

A thin layer of caulk which dries clear glued the mirror to the frame

A thick ring of caulk was the second step for keeping the mirrors in place

     The next challenge was putting the mirrors on the wall.  Ed, the guy who did my crown moldings suggested velcro.  Ed's a genius.  The velcro, sold in packets at Lowe's, was just the right thickness to fit in the gap behind the mirror.  The frames are held flush against the wall and they can't wobble out of place.

The slightly pitted texture of the finish

It's a swoosh.  Check out the reflection of the flowers in the mirror.

The end result

     From start to finish, this project took quite a bit of time, so long that my brother-in-law Chuck asked when I was going to take those paper circles off the wall.  If you have a woodworking or glass/mirror project I recommend Joe Adams (609-265-1010) and Creekside Glass (609-894-2733). If you need a handyman with great ideas, I could also hook you up with Ed.      

Off to College

     All parents worry when their child goes off to college for the first time, but parents of girls worry the most.  The usual advice is, "Lock your door," "Travel in groups," or "Carry pepper spray." Good advice, but there is more you can do to help your girls recognize possible danger.
     Gavin de Becker, a security expert, has written several books.  I read the first two - The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift.  He explains how bad guys operate, and that's something all young girls need to know.  Someone who is up to no good will appear friendly, even charming.  They will get information from you without ever asking questions - they will guide the conversation in such a way that you volunteer personal information.  You could end up being led to a private place where someone has control over you.
     Here are some things that should raise a red flag.

     1.  Too many details.  Some people are extroverts.  They start conversations on airplanes and park benches.  If you encounter someone who throws in lots of details about himself and introduces himself, they could be on a fishing expedition.  Never offer more than your first name, or better yet, simply say , "hello."

     2.  Teaming up with you.  A stranger might say, "I see we take the same bus.  I suppose you are meeting friends?"  Using the same bus gives you something in common with the stranger.  Don't respond that you just wanted to go downtown to wander around.  Let him think you are meeting the entire rugby team.

     3. Typecasting.  Joe College could say,  "I love hiking in the hills outside of town.  You're probably not that adventuresome."  Joe could be setting the groundwork for you to claim that you are quite adventuresome.  If you rise to his challenge, he knows that you might be susceptible to other suggestions.

     4.  Charm and niceness.  Who doesn't want to hear that they have beautiful hair?  Beware of strangers who lay on the compliments.

     5.  Loan sharking.  Joe College pulls an energy bar out of his backpack and says, "I'm starved.  I have an extra.  Would you like it?"  Joe's offer puts you in his debt.  If you are beginning to think Joe is annoying, his offer of a snack makes it harder to get rid of him.

     6.  Ignoring the word "no."  If you say no to a stranger's offer to take you to a neighborhood place for a beer, and that person counters with, "Come on.  It's right around the corner.  All the guys in my dorm go there," then you have met someone who might be trying to control you.

     7. Unsolicited promises.  You might hear, "We'll have one beer, and I'll get you home in time to study for your classes tomorrow.  I promise."  The promise makes you think Joe is trustworthy, but is he?

     College is a highly social time.  As parents you don't want to take all the fun out of your child's first adventure away from home.  However, you do want to teach your girls to react to overtures from male strangers with a healthy skepticism.  If a stranger employs any of the above techniques, be very careful.
     The most important thing you can probably tell your child is to listen to their inner voice.  If someone gives you the creeps, they are probably a creepy person.  Resist the urge to be nice and get away from them.  
     


















   

Tea Party

     Tea parties aren't just for little girls.  I recently went to a big girl tea party at the New Leaf Tea Room in Riverton, NJ.  What a wonderful afternoon.  We had yummy, little sandwiches, fresh fruit, and decadent desserts.  Making a tea selection wasn't easy with thirty five different teas on the menu.   Check out New Leaf's web site: http://www.thenewleaftearoom.com/

My tea posse.  You can B.Y.O.H. (bring your own hat) or pick a hat from the the tea room's collection of chapeaus.

We had the Royal Tea.

What a beautiful spot in front of a sunny window.

Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.  Henry Fielding, "Love in Several Masques"
Not that we did any gossiping... 

Did Somebody Say, "Treat?"

     We all have our price.  You can buy Mardi with a dog treat.  It can be anything from a Milk Bone to a string bean,  as long as it's identified as "treat."  Last month Mardi celebrated her one year anniversary with us.  I decided to bake some homemade dog biscuits.  It was easy to find recipes on the internet.  A particularly good site is http://www.bullwrinkle.com/Assets/Recipes/Recipes.htm.  I made Fido's Favorite Treats, but I altered the recipe a little bit.

1 cup rolled oats
1/3 cup margarine or butter  (I used canola oil to cut down on sodium.)
1 cup boiling water
3/4 cup corn meal
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons chicken or beef instant bullion  (I used some sodium free chicken broth.)
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese  (I didn't have any cheddar, so I used provalone.  I'm pretty sure that dogs think any cheese is good).
1 egg beaten
2 cups white or wheat flour

     Preheat oven to 325 degrees.  Grease cookie sheets.  In a large bowl combine oats, margarine, and water.  Let stand ten minutes.  Stir in corn meal, sugar, bullion, milk, cheese, and egg.  Mix well.  Add flour 1/2 cup at at time, mixing well after each addition, to form a stiff dough.
     On floured surface, knead until dough is smooth and no longer sticky, 3 to 4 minutes.  Roll out dough to 1/2 inch thickness.  Cut with cookie cutter.  Place one inch apart on cookie sheets.
     Bake for 35 - 45 minutes or until golden brown.  Cool completely.  I left mine in the oven with the door shut until the oven was cold.  Store loosely covered.  Makes 3-1/2 dozen large biscuits.

Puppy Party Platter

Muzzle Lickin' Good

     They smelled delicious as they baked, good enough for human consumption.  Now I know you want to know if I tasted the dog treats.  Yes, I did.  They tasted like bland crackers.  Maybe the provalone gave them a slight bite-y taste.  Mardi loved them.
     The Milk Bone impersonators and the Snickerpoodle recipes look good to.  I'll try them next.
        

Reruns (Sort Of)

     Summer is the season for reruns.  Today's entry is sort of a rerun.  Maybe you could call it a follow up.  I'll refer to a previous entry and add a new twist.

Chains of Love - 4/12/12
Knitting - 4/16/12
     I finally assembled the blocks that my little knitters made into an afghan.  I donated the afghan to the Burlington County Crochet Guild.  So many people had a hand in creating the afghan. Thanks to all of them.

Buzzzzzz - 4/24/12
     I was driving down Rt. 38 one day, and I spied bee hives.  Naturally, I came back with my camera and got these shots for the blog.
     Also, part of Michelle Obama's organic White House kitchen includes honey from the White House hives.  http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2010/06/23/secret-life-white-house-bees

Things I Swear By - 4/30/12
     I love Banana Boat self tanner.  It really improves the looks of this pale face's legs.  I love Zappos.  They ship the shoes for free, let you walk around in them, and, if necessary, let you return them (also for free).  What a sweet deal.  Lastly, I love my Aerolatte.  It's a little contraption that whips skim milk into a froth.  I got it at Bed, Bath, & Beyond for $19.99.  I can have lots of foam in my morning coffee without buying one of those pricey machines.

Keepin' It Clean - 6/22/12
     Soft Scrub with bleach works miracles on stained grout.  Lemon oil dissolves the white film that collects on shower doors.  It also liquefies soap scum on tile.  You have to clean off the oily residue from the lemon oil, but it's worth it since you don't have to put any elbow grease into the cleaning process.  Easy peasy, lemon sqeezy.
   
   

Raggedy Ann and Other Frightening Things

     When I was a kid, I hated clowns.  In fact, I found them scary.  Their big hair was usually bright red.  Their faces were the face of pure evil.  Even a black and white Happy the Clown and his marching sticks were not high on my list.  The same went for Raggedy Ann.  That doll, with her red yarn hair and a face that looked like Bozo did her make up, was creepy.
      Raggedy Ann was created by Johnny Gruelle.  He wrote a series of books featuring the character from 1880 to 1938.  The Raggedy Ann doll was introduced in 1915 and Raggedy Andy came along in 1920.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raggedy_Ann  Raggedy Ann dolls and Teddy bears were residents of almost every child's toy box for years.
     When Hollywood decided to demonize a toy, they picked Chatty Cathy.  Does anybody remember the Twilight Zone episode "Living Doll?"  It's about Talky Tina, a doll that will make you sorry if you're not nice to her.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSy8Ko1vSKQ  I loved Chatty Cathy, and I wanted her.  Even seeing Talky Tina wouldn't have disuaded me from begging for a Chatty Cathy.
     Maybe Raggedy Ann's reputation changed in the 1970's when the story of Annabelle came out.  A woman bought a large Raggedy Ann for her student nurse daughter.  The doll liked to move itself off the bed during the day when the daughter went to classes.  Later the doll, who came to stay in the parent's house, moved around and left meaningless, written notes.  She got nasty after the family took her to a priest to exorcise her demons.  It's a long story, but you can read it here:
http://www.dark-stories.com/eng/annabelle_possessed_doll.htm
     I suppose you can't hold a grudge forever.  Before my junior year in college, I found some six inch Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls.  They were so small that I actually found them cute.  I propped them up against my pillow every day after making the bed.  Sometimes I came home from class and found them in different sexual positions.  I doubt the dolls were demon possessed, but my roommate's crazy boyfriend might have been.
     Sometime during the early 80's Raggedy Ann became popular again.  McCall's offered an Ann and Andy pattern that could be made in four different sizes.  They also sold a Hallowe'en costume pattern.  I bought the doll pattern and started making dolls to sell or give away as gifts.   I used to tell people that I made the dolls as a way of confronting my childhood fear.  I think the thing that won me over was hugging one of my dolls.  It was soft and cuddly, not like that hard, plastic blabbermouth.
     The original dolls were Caucasian.  I decided to diversify.  I made Afro-American Ann and I braided her hair.  I even made a couple of Asian Anns.  One thing that I never, ever did was add the traditional Raggedy Ann tattoo, the "I love you" inside a heart.  The recipient could talk to the doll, but I was determined the doll was never going to communicate to a human by any means. There's no such thing as too careful when it comes to certain things.

Enough for a baseball team

       

No, Thank You

     Yesterday I was reading about Sarah Baartman, a Khoikhoi African woman, who was displayed as a freak show attraction, in the early 1800's.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Baartman  My mind wandered to the HBO series "Carnivale" and then to the movie "Water for Elephants."  I never liked the circus.  As a kid, I would have picked going to 2 Guys over going to the circus.  The circus came to Hainesport a couple of times in the form of the Our Lady Queen of Peace fund raising carnival.  One year they had an acrobat who ended her routine by hanging by her teeth.  http://blog.modernmechanix.com/worlds-strangest-circus-produced-by-amateurs/  Hanging by my teeth is the last thing in the world I would want to do.
     A list started forming in my head, a reverse bucket list.  There are quite a few things that I am steadfastly close minded about.

     1. I don't want a sports car.  They're way down on the ground, and it would hurt my back to get in and out.  I don't drive fast anymore.  Mike says I putt-putt along like an old lady.

     2. I don't want to eat mountain oysters.

     3. I don't want to move to Florida.  Though I whine about the cold all winter and make threats, I would rather stay away from the Sunshine State.  They have bugs and snakes and hurricanes.

    4. As much as I like dogs, I'll never keep a malamute in the house.  They don't just shed.  They moult weekly, it seems.

     5. I don't want to sleep under the stars or make love on the beach.

     6. I don't want a nose job or a face lift.  The thought of a more attractive me has been tempting at times, but in the end I'd rather spend the money at Flemings.

     7. I don't want to own a bed and breakfast.  Why would anyone want the pressure of always having to keep the house spotless and having to wait on a bunch of strangers?  I'd probably screw up all the orders for over easy eggs.

     There are plenty of things I would like to do.  I've always been in love with the jitterbug, and I would like to learn a really cool jitterbug routine.  I would like to ride an elephant and swim with the dolphins.  I would love to have three desserts after supper every night.  But wait, that's another situation to which I must say, "No, thanks."    

The Perversion List

     Goldangit!  The Boy Scouts are in the news again.  http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-boyscouts-20120805-m,0,5822319.story
     Didn't I suggest in Happy in Hainesport's entry of July 26 that there are probably child molesters right under their noses?  Their "perversion files" were an attempt to keep child molesters, once discovered, from returning to the Scouts.  Too bad it didn't work that well.  Everyone of those devils who abused a child should be outed.
     If you want to check for sex offender's in your neighborhood, use New Jersey's list that was established under Megan's Law (New Jersey Code at 2C: 7 -12 to 19).  Here's the link - http://www.state.nj.us/njsp/info/reg_sexoffend.html
     The FBI also provides links to every state, U. S. Territories, and the American Indian Tribes.  http://www.fbi.gov/scams-safety/registry/

Good Deeds

  Since I took a shot at the Boy Scouts a little over a week ago, I'll strive for balance today.  This is one of my creative writing assignments:

          A short time after I retired, I decided I would try to do a good deed every day.  The idea came to me as I pushed a shopping cart back to the store.  Pre-retirement, I wouldn’t have had the time to return a cart, because I hurriedly shopped during my lunch hour.  Now, there is no reason not to return carts.  No matter how cold and windy the weather, I should be returning those carts, after which I could tick off the day’s good turn.  Thus, I took on the mission of the daily act of kindness.

     I didn’t realize it at the time, but I have since learned that the slogan of the Boy Scouts is, “Do a good turn daily.”  And all these years, I thought the Boy Scout helping Granny cross the street was the product of Hollywood sit-com writers.  You've seen the character, a feisty old woman offended by the suggestion that she needs assistance, comes out swinging her purse at the kid in the khaki shirt and neckerchief.  It’s no joke.  Boy Scouts, who take their directive seriously, dedicate themselves to finding some small way to be of service each day.  

     Hopefully, I have a long life ahead of me.  Longer life means I have to come up with more good deeds.  No matter how creative I become, some of these acts will be repeated many times.  Some will be so trivial they hardly qualify as an act of kindness.  It doesn't matter, as long as I manage to do something each day.  I might pick up some litter, report a broken jar of spaghetti sauce all over aisle #12 at the supermarket, or make faces to amuse a fussy baby while her mother tries to unload a shopping cart and pay for groceries.  Or I could resist the urge to be snitty to a telemarketer,  take the treats the dog rejected to the animal shelter where the mutts aren’t so picky, or be the only one on the block to put out a bag of canned goods for (you guessed it) the Boy Scouts.  The longer you are at it, the easier it gets.  I’m also not above thinking that all these good deeds will get me some God-points toward a longer life.   

     Not all good deeds leave you with that warm and fuzzy feeling.  For example, Good Deed #46 involved returning a flipped recycling bucket to the upright position and putting some broken glass in it which the recycle guys left in the road, even though it caused me to be whirled around by the wind created by a car passing at a high rate of speed.  Additionally, there was some fist shaking on the part of the driver of that car.  Good Deed # 127 resulted in puncture wounds when I tried to clip the nails of a friend's dog.  

     I like to fantasize that the box I picked up prevented a broken hip, or the nails I picked up prevented a flat tire.  At times, I think the best part of this whole project is when I hear that something I considered minuscule brought tears to the eyes of the person on the receiving end. Then I think again and hope something I did left them gasping for breath because, they have laughed so hard.

     Maybe a daily good turn is too much to ask, but I would like to request that everyone in the whole, wide world try to do something nice on a regular schedule – once a week, once a month, or once a year.  Let’s all be Boy Scouts, just better dressed.     

  

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidtt

     The next lyric in the song is "his name is my name, too."  What are the chances?  These days the chances are pretty good that one child's odd name will be shared by another child.  I went to school with a bunch of Mary Anns, Patricia Anns, and Deborah Anns.  I think Ann was the only middle name allowed in the 50's.  I'm Beverly Ann - the only kid named Beverly had the same middle name as everyone else.
     I remember the surge in popularity of ethnic names in the 70's and 80's.  There were also made up names like Dreama (mom must have dreamed she was pregnant) and Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards).  I don't know how Jason and Jennifer became so popular, but Christina was the name of the Carrington's baby on "Dynasty."  There was a period when last names became first names.  Both boys and girls were named Tyler and Taylor.  Just don't name your kid Tyler Tyler.  Biblical names have always been around, but there are a lot of Adams, Jonahs, and Joshuas coming home from the hospital lately.  I've noticed a bunch of long, girly names, Samantha and Angelina, for example.  Christina is still here, but it's being spelled Krystyna.
     I just heard that the latest naming trend is choosing names from popular sci-fi and fantasy shows like"Game of Thrones."  http://screen.yahoo.com/unusual-baby-names-becoming-popular-30157007.html?pb_list=01a0a4e8-078c-497e-87d0-021c3241ca13      
While parents think they are being original naming their kid after someone from the Iron Islands of Westeros, little Theon might find that he's one of several Theons at the elementary school.  That's okay because kids like to fit in.  Theon will probably grow up and name his baby William or Catherine or Homunculus.
     There was a story circulating that someone mistakenly thought the hospital named their child Female (pronounced like tamale).  I don't know if that's true.  It's a shame if it is.  I think parents should name their kids whatever they like and whatever fits with their culture.  What if the child hates his or her name?  That's what nicknames are for.  I think the only names that should be off limits are Formica Dinette, Alexis Infinity, and Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116.   http://urbantitan.com/10-weird-first-names/

Hainesport Shop Rite

     I love the Hainesport Shop Rite.  The store is big and clean.  Produce and dairy products are always fresh.  The staff is friendly and helpful.  Even the kids who collect carts in the parking lot offer to take your cart when you leave or give you a cart when you arrive.
     Occasionally, there can be a snag in the shopping experience at any store.  The way the store resolves an issue is what is important.  Once I tried a new brand of orange juice.  The stuff was awful - a thick, pulpy mixture with the consistency of a milk shake.  Shop Rite returned my money and explained that the processing plant must have had a glitch when adding some pulp to the batch.  Another time, I was accosted by a panhandler in the parking lot.  He was a pitiful looking soul who said he needed gas money to return to Browns Mills.  I'm no fool, so I offered to go with him to the Wawa and put some gas in his vehicle.  He walked away saying, "Never mind."  Sounded like he really wanted beer money or drug money.  I reported the incident to the store, and they promptly handled it so that no other customers would be hassled.
     When it comes to ground beef, I like to find a lean roast and have the butcher grind it.  The result is super lean hamburger that is cheaper than the store's 93% lean burger.  Yesterday, I had some difficulty locating a chunk of beef that could be ground since most of the round roasts were marked to be sold only as roasts (no grinding allowed).  By the time I found the right cut of meat, the butcher had gone on break, and his assistant was not sure if he would be allowed to grind the meat.  I asked the manager, Mr. Blackwell, if the roast was "eligible" for grinding, and he assured me that it was.  He had the meat ground while I finished my shopping.
     Sometimes people bemoan the fact that the mom and pop stores are gone.  They say the personal attention that shoppers used to receive is a thing of the past.  That's not the case at the Hainesport Shop Rite.  Thanks, Mr. Blackwell, for doing your part to make Hainesport a happy place.