Super Bowl Parties

     From time to time I throw a Super Bowl party.  Don't ask me why.  I don't get football.  I don't pay attention to the game.  I like the part where people come to the house, eat, and have a good time.  This year, I'm making all the food in advance and warming it up before the party.  Since people always ask what to bring, I asked half of those generous souls to bring appetizers and half to bring desserts.  Since the food is going to be so easy, I decided to spend a little time on the decorations.
     Check out my centerpiece.

I started with a gift box.

Next, I downloaded a picture of grass and printed it.

I began wrapping the box with two pieces of the grass design.  I used the white border for the 50 yard line.

I had to cut strips and piece together the sides of the box.  Now we have a playing field.

I downloaded some football clip art characters.  I had to do some experimentation to find the best size for printing them.  Once I decided on the size, I printed them on card stock.  I used my printing program to flip them (make a mirror image) and print a second copy.  I glued the two copies together so the image was on the front and the back.  It was fun coloring them with my markers.

Here are some of my little people.  The ones standing on the field will be anchored with tooth picks.  The ones around the edge have tabs on their feet.  I made a cut with a box cutter and inserted the tab.  I glued the tab to the side edge of the box.

It's not technically correct, but it's cute.  Mike tells me the team names should be reversed so they can be read from the 50 yard line.  The referee should also be closer to the center, but I liked the composition better when I placed "Ref" in the corner.  

The football is oversized.  I suspended it in air with jewelry wire.

Indoor Plumbing

     My friend is remodeling her upstairs bathroom.  She joked she should get a chamber pot after a couple of middle of the night trips downstairs to the working toilet.  That reminded me of a chamber pot experience in my youth.  The chamber pot memory brought back a few outhouse memories. My parents liked to remind me that I was a lucky one, only having used an outdoor toilet on a rare occasion.  It was a way of life when they were growing up in Hainesport.  Now that the wheels were turning, I wondered about outhouses in general and if they are illegal in these modern times.
     An outdoor privy is a small enclosure (usually made of wood) that sits atop a hole in the ground.  It is located far enough away from the house to keep smells away from the back porch and far enough away from the well to keep germs from getting into the water supply.  Most people picture the shack out back with a half moon cutout on the door.  One popular belief is that long ago public toilet doors were marked with a star cutout for men's rooms and a moon cutout for women's rooms, so the mostly illiterate populace would know where to go.  Since most houses had only one unisex outhouse, that cutout moon must have indicated that the woman cleaned it.  More than likely a hole in the door provided ventilation and light.  Once past the door, the interior usually has a bench seat in Western society.  In Eastern societies, there is normally only a hole in the floor over which one squats to get the job done.
     Depending on usage, the pit under an outhouse eventually fills up.  When that happens, the owner must dig a new pit, and move the outhouse to its new position over the freshly dig hole.  So a quality outdoor loo has to be light enough to be movable and strong enough to withstand the journey.  Thomas Jefferson had two matching octagonal brick outhouses at his Lynchburg, Virginia home.  They looked nice, but they weren't practical.  Some say these structures gave rise to the expression "built like a brick shithouse" - meaning overbuilt, showy, and impractical.
     So are permanent outside comfort stations illegal?  You can't put one in the backyard of today's sub-divisions, but they are still in use.  Some homes built in remote areas use composting toilets.  The Clivus Multrum brand toilet was invented in 1939 by a Swede named Rikard Lindstrom. Lindstrom built his toilet over a concrete tank that had a sloped bottom and a chimney for venting. The toilet functioned for decades, and it was patented in 1962.  This type of toilet is supposedly odor free, and after 30 years it will be only 6% full of solid waste.  When the toilet is cleaned, whatever is removed is germ free and suitable for use as fertilizer.  Not to be outdone, the Norwegians invented an incinerating toilet.  It uses propane and 12 volt direct current to reduce solid waste to ash.  Hikers who use the part of the Appalachian Trail that runs through New Jersey have a new type of outhouse on the route.  The old pit toilets have been replaced by mouldering toilets.  The enclosures are elevated.  Waste falls to the ground under the structures.  Users of the facility are instructed to throw saw dust or leaves (usually provided in buckets) down the hole after their deposit.  What accumulates underneath decomposes at a rapid rate due to exposure to the air.  Just keep your dog on a short leash when you hike the trail.
     I think the outhouse has enriched our culture, our language, for example.  If you never heard the expression windier than a shack full of farts or crazier than a shithouse rat, you must be familiar with an ailment called the back door trots.  And it's not just language.  Listen to this piece of music written to celebrate the alfresco john.


       
   

Fixing Hollow Doors

     Our laundry closet has hollow bi-fold doors.  They look nice, but they are kind of cheap.  The only solid area is around the outside edge.  The door knobs wouldn't look right placed on the edge, so they are centered on two of the doors where it is hollow.  It wasn't long before the knobs loosened.  Tightening the screw just pulled the layers of the door toward the center, dimpling the front and back surfaces.  I put a great, big washer around the screw on the backside of the door.  It helped, but recently the knobs have gotten very wobbly.
     I scouted around online for some fixes.  One person suggested spraying foam insulation into the door through the screw holes.  Once the insulation dried, this individual thought the hole could be re-drilled and the knob could be attached.  I had my doubts that foam would be strong enough to hold over the long haul.  I found a product made specifically for the situation.  It's a plastic sleeve, that goes through the door like a giant molly, called Knob Secure.  I also had doubts that Knob Secure was the best way to go.  I was looking for more support over a larger area.

Wobbly knob.

The washer fix that didn't last. 

The paint wore off and the hole was enlarged.

I sanded off the paint for better adhesion.  The inner box is where I cut a hole.  The outer box is where I placed a cover over the hole.

I put a screw drive through the door so the piece I cut out wouldn't drop into the hollow door.  I used a box cutter to make the cut.  Since the doors aren't much more than cardboard, the box cutter worked well.

The plan is to insert a piece of wood that is the exact thickness of the door hollow.  It is as high vertically as this opening, but it is longer horizontally than this opening.

This is the center support and the cover.  The centers are marked and drilled.  That's where the door knob goes.

One edge of the center support is cut off so it can be angled into the space.  I coated both sides of the supporting piece with Liquid Nails and inserted it into the door.  I used a wooden shish kabob skewer to line up the holes and center the support.

After the Liquid Nails on the insert set up, I glued a 1/4" thick piece of board over the hole.  I used a screw to attach the door knob that was 1/4" longer than the original screws.  I also added a small screw on each edge of the board.  Maybe that was over kill.     

     It's not a thing of beauty, but it has made the door knobs solid as a rock.  It's not possible to see the patch when the doors are open or closed.  One would have to sit on top of the washer or dryer and close themselves into the closet to see the repair.  Once I prime and paint the patch, it will be even less conspicuous.

     

Waste-Not-Want-Not Brownies

     Every year in January I clean out the pantry, organize, and take inventory.  Then it's off to Shop Rite for the Can-Can Sale and restocking.  Besides twelve almost expired cans of vegetables, I found a box of cocoa powder.  Why did I ever buy that stuff?  We make hot chocolate by squirting some Hershey's syrup into a big mug of milk and microwaving for two minutes.  It's a sin to waste, so I had to figure out what to do with natural, unsweetened cocoa.
     I found a recipe for brownies, made with cocoa powder instead of baker's chocolate squares.  Here it is:

1/2 cup vegetable oil (canola is heart healthy)
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs
1/2 cup flour
1/3 cup cocoa
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 cup nuts

They were very specific about how to mix things up.  First add the sugar and vanilla to the oil.  Stir it up, then add the eggs and flour followed by cocoa, baking powder, salt, and nuts.  Bake at 350° in a 9 x 9 pan until a knife stuck in the center comes out almost clean (about 25 minutes).
   
     You can reduce the calories by substituting 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce in place of the oil.  That's what I did.  I also used egg white in place of the whole eggs.  I got brownies that were less moist and gooey-chewy, but still darn tasty.
     So, that's my waste-not-want-not brownie recipe.  Give it a try.
     
   
     
 

Body Maps

     I can't take credit for this one.  A friend of mine told me about it.  Those of us who visit the dermatologist every year should prepare a body map (think chalk outline!).  That way, nothing gets overlooked.

Here's a link:  http://www.skincancer.org/Media/Default/File/File/webbodymap_1142011.pdf

     I found some graphics on Google images that work.

      I make a mark for each mole, red mark, or patch of flaky skin.  Easy, peezy.  But if I really had brains, I would have stayed out of the sun.  

Barley Pilaf

     When I was a kid potatoes were on the dinner plate every night.  By the time I got to high school, I had badgered my mother enough that she sometimes prepared rice; but I had to hear, "Your father doesn't like rice," on each of these occasions.
     Around that time, women were entered the work force, and they didn't feel like washing, peeling, boiling, and mashing potatoes.  Besides instant mashed potatoes, the "go to" for a busy wife, there were also instant au gratins and instant scalloped spuds.  Once the couponing craze started, Mom ventured into whipping up pasta salad mixes ("Tastes like garlic flavored rubber bands," critiqued my father) and Near East couscous.  If the final cost was less than a quarter after applying the double coupon, the box was tossed into the shopping cart.
     As they say, what goes around, comes around.  I confess to buying Near East couscous, but instant potatoes of any kind are verboten in this house.  White rice loses its nutritional value in processing, so much so that the federal government requires it to be enriched with B-vitamins and iron.  All those starchy mixes contain loads of sodium.  We're back to eating starches with 45+ minute prep times.
     Barley is a good carbohydrate.  Most of the barley available is the "pearled" or polished variety.  That means the husk has been removed.  Without the fibrous husk, barley cooks faster and keeps longer.  Unlike rice, barley retains most of it's nutritional value after the husk is removed.  A cup of cooked, pearled barley contains 193 calories, but only 6 of these calories come from fat.  This one cup portion also contains 6 grams of fiber, 4 grams of protein, and 12% of an adult's daily requirement of iron.  Barley is a zero cholesterol food.
     Here's the recipe for barley pilaf from the back of a bag of Jack Rabbit pearled barley:

1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
1 cup pearled barley
2 tsp. olive oil
3 cups chicken or vegetable broth
2 tbs. green onion
1/2 tsp. crushed, dried rosemary
2 tbs. grated Parmesan cheese

Method: Heat olive oil in a sauce pan.  Add mushrooms and saute until limp.  Add barley broth, green onion, and rosemary.  bring to a boil.  reduce heat to low, cover and cook for 45 minutes or until barley is tender and the liquid is absorbed.  Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and serve.

     I doodled around with this recipe and came up with a heartier pilaf.  I sliced and sauteed (in olive oil) a 10 ounce box of mushrooms, one clove crushed garlic, two diced carrots, and two ribs of chopped celery.  Then I added 1 cup of barley, 3 cups of beef broth, and salt and pepper.
     It doesn't go from box to table in 15 minutes, but you can thrown in a load of laundry, wash dishes, and dust the living room while it simmers.