Mike, like many men, doesn't have a broad palate. The more highly processed a food is, the better he likes it. Chewy, whole grain bread is rejected in favor of whitest white, spongy soft Wonder Bread. The doctor advised less soda and more water, so we have cases of flavored water - water laced with citric acid, sodium polyphosphate, potassium sorbate, potassium benzoate, and sucralose. He couldn't believe I boiled and mashed potatoes. Hungary Jack®s were his spuds of choice. My sister dubbed his preferences "kid food."
Growing up, we didn't have kid food at our house. The only liquids were milk in the frig and water in the tap. Okay, there was a case of beer in the basement in the summer - Dad's reward after working in the yard on hot days. Breakfasts were oatmeal, eggs (rarely bacon), and pancakes on the weekends. I remember we had boxes of Cherrios®, but not often. I delighted at the site of individual sized boxes of all sorts of cereal the summer I went to camp. Split the side of the box along the perforations, dump in sugar and milk, eat. How cool was that?
I don't know if offering only healthy options makes children better eaters. Maybe it just sets them up for junk food addiction the first time they go to other kids' homes or get a look at what's in other kids' school lunches ... or go to camp. I suppose getting kids to eat a healthy diet is like everything else I have heard about parenting - a job that requires constant vigilance, endless patience, and regular reinforcement of the rules. Maybe it also involves compromise.
One day my normally not-very-creative-in-the-kitchen mother offered dry Cherrios® with a big dollop of applesauce on top. That might have been the summer the apple tree bore so much fruit that my father had to stake up the limbs, so they wouldn't snap off. Darn, that was good. It took my mind off Lucky Charms® and Fruit Loops™.
I saw my friend's older sister water down juice for her toddler. I thought Sis went to extremes stretching the juice, but a mixture of 50% water to 50% juice wasn't bad. I still mix juice and water (or seltzer) to this day.
I never saw a cup of yogurt until I went to college. It seems yogurt is all people eat these days. A friend of mine halved white, seedless grapes and mixed them into vanilla yogurt. I think it makes more sense to use yogurt as a vehicle for getting fresh fruit into a kid rather than a vehicle for getting fruit-on-the-bottom jam into a kid.
I'm sure I'm not the first one to think of it, but I like to take credit for inventing a kids' fusion food. I add peas or chopped broccoli and cauliflower to a Kraft mac 'n' cheese mix.
So, you can lead a kid to the salad bar, but you can't make him eat. Unless you give him a bowl of ranch dressing for dipping.
Friday, March 28, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Get It Off Facebook, Please
I like animals. I love dogs, like bunnies, hamsters, and guinea pigs, and tolerate cats. I wish I could install chickens, a pony, and a goat or two in the back yard. I have to confess, I'm not big on fish. Some people find watching them relaxing. I just find it boring. Give me a creature I can touch and that responds to my voice. I need that.
Most people with whom I am aquainted also like animals. There's nothing surprising about that since like minded people seek each other out. I wouldn't, nor would anyone I know, ever abuse an animal. Once, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a rabbit's nest. Bunny parts flew out of the mower's discharge chute. I spent a few minutes standing in my front yard shaking and wailing. Another time I hit a bird in flight that was trying to make it across Route 73. I heard the thud, looked into my rear view mirror at a cloud of feathers, and almost vomited into my lap. Except for these two accidents, I have never harmed a hair of any animal's hide.
So, I'm asking all my Facebook friends, fellow animal lovers, to stop- cease and desist, even- from posting those animal abuse photos. Please, no more filthy, matted, ringworm crusted pooches. No more barely conscious, skin and bones mutts. No more dogs with twisted limbs and puppy sized collars embedded in their necks. I know depraved individuals use bait dogs to "train" pit bulls, but I don't want to see the bloody results of those encounters. I'm not living in denial. I know what can happen to helpless animals. I support animal charities and animal shelters in an effort to stop the abuse. I know I would intercede if I discovered an animal was being abused, and I'm pretty sure I would even come out swinging, if I had to.
I don't need to be reminded that evil exists. So, please guys, stop posting those awful pictures. You're preaching to the choir when you post that stuff on Facebook.
Most people with whom I am aquainted also like animals. There's nothing surprising about that since like minded people seek each other out. I wouldn't, nor would anyone I know, ever abuse an animal. Once, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a rabbit's nest. Bunny parts flew out of the mower's discharge chute. I spent a few minutes standing in my front yard shaking and wailing. Another time I hit a bird in flight that was trying to make it across Route 73. I heard the thud, looked into my rear view mirror at a cloud of feathers, and almost vomited into my lap. Except for these two accidents, I have never harmed a hair of any animal's hide.
So, I'm asking all my Facebook friends, fellow animal lovers, to stop- cease and desist, even- from posting those animal abuse photos. Please, no more filthy, matted, ringworm crusted pooches. No more barely conscious, skin and bones mutts. No more dogs with twisted limbs and puppy sized collars embedded in their necks. I know depraved individuals use bait dogs to "train" pit bulls, but I don't want to see the bloody results of those encounters. I'm not living in denial. I know what can happen to helpless animals. I support animal charities and animal shelters in an effort to stop the abuse. I know I would intercede if I discovered an animal was being abused, and I'm pretty sure I would even come out swinging, if I had to.
I don't need to be reminded that evil exists. So, please guys, stop posting those awful pictures. You're preaching to the choir when you post that stuff on Facebook.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Pineapple, Ginger, and Walnut Oatmeal
This one is so-o-o-o-o-o yummy.
Pineapple, Ginger, and Walnut Oatmeal
Makes four servings.
2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats (the kind that cooks in 5 minutes)
2 cups coarsely chopped fresh pineapple (I used one 20 ounce can Dole tid-bits, drained)
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts
1 (2 inch) piece ginger, peeled and grated (about 2 tablespoons)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups whole milk (I used skim)
1/2 cup maple syrup, plus more if you want to drizzle when you serve (I used lite syrup)
2 large eggs, beaten (I used egg white)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Pre-heat the oven to 400°. In a large bowl stir together oats, pineapple, walnuts, ginger, and salt. Divide the mixture among four 10 oz. ramekins. Set aside.
In another bowl, whisk remaining ingredients to combine. Pour 1/4 of the milk-syrup mixture over the oat-pineapple mixture in each ramekin.
Transfer ramekins to a baking sheet. Bake until the oats are set and light golden brown on top, about 25 minutes.
This can be made ahead of time and reheated in the microwave.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Everybody Dies
I had a friend (now dead) who frequently said, "Everybody dies." Someone you thought was a friend stabbed you in the back? They'll get theirs. Everybody dies. Your ex weaseled out of having to pay alimony? Everybody dies. You were passed over for a promotion at work, and the office sycophant got the job? Don't worry about it. They won't be around forever, and eventually you will have a shot at the office with a window facing the courtyard. Everybody dies.
I think, at least I hope, my late friend was trying to use dark humor to put disappointments into perspective. We shouldn't dwell on when other people will exit this life, but we should make a few preparations for our own passing. Obviously, everyone needs a will. You should have a living will and a power of attorney, also. Consult a lawyer for advice on those issues.
One of the most important things you can do is to set up a file for the person who will manage your affairs. Lay everything out for them, so they have less stress handling a very stressful task. Here's one way to do it:
Death Instructions
Specify how you want your funeral handled - burial, cremation, cryogenic freezing. What funeral home would like? Do you want a service? Do you want a wall covered in pictures which documents your entire existence? Do you want to provide food and drink for those who mourn or celebrate your passing?
Have you bought a burial plot or other resting place? Provide the deed. If you have not made arrangements, tell your executor what you want them to do with your remains.
Did you make arrangements for your animals when you are gone? Figure it out, and leave instructions.
List contact information for your clergyman, lawyer, accountant, doctors.
Personal Records
Provide your full, legal name, birth date, address, house and cell phone numbers, and social security number.
Make sure the person you choose to handle things, besides having a key to the house, has your alarm codes and your voice mail codes. They should review your phone messages before discontinuing service.
Reveal the location of important documents and valuables - safe deposit box, safe or fire proof document boxes, filing cabinet, under the mattress. Make sure you provide keys or combinations to get into your stash. I remember a story someone told me. Their friend bought an old house. During the rehab, this friend found a goodly sum of money hidden in the dining room light fixture. I'm sure the person who squirreled away that cash wanted it to go to a specific person or organization. Their failure to leave a note cheated the intended recipient, so don't do that. And don't leave cash in light fixtures or freezers. Put your money in the bank.
Documents
Your executor will need -
Will
Birth Certificate
Marriage Certificate
Decrees from Prior Divorces
House Deed
Car Title/Registration/Insurance Information
Passport
Financial Records
List all sources of income. Provide Social Security and Medicare information if applicable.
Provide health care insurance information.
List all assets - checking, savings, and credit union accounts, retirement accounts, stocks, bonds. Include account numbers.
Provide life insurance information.
List all credit cards and credit lines with account numbers.
Online Records
Provide all email accounts and passwords, as well as account names and passwords for other accounts like Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Presumably, you will want these accounts closed.
Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to the business of living.
I think, at least I hope, my late friend was trying to use dark humor to put disappointments into perspective. We shouldn't dwell on when other people will exit this life, but we should make a few preparations for our own passing. Obviously, everyone needs a will. You should have a living will and a power of attorney, also. Consult a lawyer for advice on those issues.
One of the most important things you can do is to set up a file for the person who will manage your affairs. Lay everything out for them, so they have less stress handling a very stressful task. Here's one way to do it:
Death Instructions
Specify how you want your funeral handled - burial, cremation, cryogenic freezing. What funeral home would like? Do you want a service? Do you want a wall covered in pictures which documents your entire existence? Do you want to provide food and drink for those who mourn or celebrate your passing?
Have you bought a burial plot or other resting place? Provide the deed. If you have not made arrangements, tell your executor what you want them to do with your remains.
Did you make arrangements for your animals when you are gone? Figure it out, and leave instructions.
List contact information for your clergyman, lawyer, accountant, doctors.
Personal Records
Provide your full, legal name, birth date, address, house and cell phone numbers, and social security number.
Make sure the person you choose to handle things, besides having a key to the house, has your alarm codes and your voice mail codes. They should review your phone messages before discontinuing service.
Reveal the location of important documents and valuables - safe deposit box, safe or fire proof document boxes, filing cabinet, under the mattress. Make sure you provide keys or combinations to get into your stash. I remember a story someone told me. Their friend bought an old house. During the rehab, this friend found a goodly sum of money hidden in the dining room light fixture. I'm sure the person who squirreled away that cash wanted it to go to a specific person or organization. Their failure to leave a note cheated the intended recipient, so don't do that. And don't leave cash in light fixtures or freezers. Put your money in the bank.
Documents
Your executor will need -
Will
Birth Certificate
Marriage Certificate
Decrees from Prior Divorces
House Deed
Car Title/Registration/Insurance Information
Passport
Financial Records
List all sources of income. Provide Social Security and Medicare information if applicable.
Provide health care insurance information.
List all assets - checking, savings, and credit union accounts, retirement accounts, stocks, bonds. Include account numbers.
Provide life insurance information.
List all credit cards and credit lines with account numbers.
Online Records
Provide all email accounts and passwords, as well as account names and passwords for other accounts like Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Presumably, you will want these accounts closed.
Now that that's out of the way, let's get down to the business of living.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Chicken Heart!
In 1966, when I was in the seventh or eighth grade, someone brought Bill Cosby's "Wonderfulness" comedy album to school. This kid raved about how hilarious the Chicken Heart routine was. As a treat, we were allowed to listen to this part of the record. It appealed to our juvenile senses of humor. Because Mr. Cosby slurred over it, no one seemed to notice when the father character in the skit demanded, "What the hell's the sofa doin' on fire?" For many days afterwards, we would blurt out, "Chicken heart," hoping to frighten the be-jesus out of someone, or we would thump-thump out a heart beat and break into laughs.
As far as I was concerned, the routine, inspired by some old radio show, was just silliness. It took forty eight years for me to find out the facts behind the fun.
My enlightenment came while reading The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Henrietta Lacks' story is one of science fiction becoming science fact. In 1951, Mrs. Lacks developed cervical cancer. Doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital, who treated her, took part of her tumor and sent it to George Gey, a scientist, who tried to keep the tumor cells alive (and reproducing) in his lab. These experiments were routinely done with healthy and cancerous human tissue harvested from Johns Hopkins' patients. Lacks' cells were the first to survive and thrive, possibly due to the aggressive nature of her cancer, and definately due to Gey's extensive research into culture mediums, the food needed to feed the cells . Within nine months, Mrs. Lacks was dead, but her cells, known as HeLa cells, lived on. Jonas Salk was able to get his polio vaccine out to the masses in record time because HeLa cells allowed him to complete his research quickly and inexpensively. HeLa cells are still alive today, growing wildly in cultures, and being sold to laboratories all over the world for research into all sorts of diseases.
Before George Gey did it in 1951, other scientists tried to grow human and animal cells in petri dishes. One of these scientists was Alexis Carrel. In 1912, he actually grew beating heart tissue from samples taken from a chicken. Also in 1912, Carrel won a Nobel Prize for developing a blood vessel suturing technique that lead to organ transplantation. Stories of his laboratory grown, beating chicken heart were exaggerated and circulated. Though Carrel claimed that the chicken's heart tissue lived and quivered rhythmically for twenty years, that was not the case. His sample cells died off. They only appeared to stay alive because someone added fresh, living cells to the sample each time they fed it. The creepy nature of Carrel's beating chicken heart, along with his claims that he could grow a mass of cells bigger than the solar system was fodder for the science fiction writers.
The radio show Bill Cosby talks about was broadcast in March 1937. I wonder if Cosby knew about Alexis Carrel and the real chicken heart. I'm betting he did. Now I know, too.
As far as I was concerned, the routine, inspired by some old radio show, was just silliness. It took forty eight years for me to find out the facts behind the fun.
My enlightenment came while reading The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Henrietta Lacks' story is one of science fiction becoming science fact. In 1951, Mrs. Lacks developed cervical cancer. Doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital, who treated her, took part of her tumor and sent it to George Gey, a scientist, who tried to keep the tumor cells alive (and reproducing) in his lab. These experiments were routinely done with healthy and cancerous human tissue harvested from Johns Hopkins' patients. Lacks' cells were the first to survive and thrive, possibly due to the aggressive nature of her cancer, and definately due to Gey's extensive research into culture mediums, the food needed to feed the cells . Within nine months, Mrs. Lacks was dead, but her cells, known as HeLa cells, lived on. Jonas Salk was able to get his polio vaccine out to the masses in record time because HeLa cells allowed him to complete his research quickly and inexpensively. HeLa cells are still alive today, growing wildly in cultures, and being sold to laboratories all over the world for research into all sorts of diseases.
Before George Gey did it in 1951, other scientists tried to grow human and animal cells in petri dishes. One of these scientists was Alexis Carrel. In 1912, he actually grew beating heart tissue from samples taken from a chicken. Also in 1912, Carrel won a Nobel Prize for developing a blood vessel suturing technique that lead to organ transplantation. Stories of his laboratory grown, beating chicken heart were exaggerated and circulated. Though Carrel claimed that the chicken's heart tissue lived and quivered rhythmically for twenty years, that was not the case. His sample cells died off. They only appeared to stay alive because someone added fresh, living cells to the sample each time they fed it. The creepy nature of Carrel's beating chicken heart, along with his claims that he could grow a mass of cells bigger than the solar system was fodder for the science fiction writers.
The radio show Bill Cosby talks about was broadcast in March 1937. I wonder if Cosby knew about Alexis Carrel and the real chicken heart. I'm betting he did. Now I know, too.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Three Wishes
The dog and I have a little ritual every morning. She gets in my face and sniffs morning breath while I chatter away along these lines, "Good morning little girl. How are you this morning? Did daddy fix your breakfast? Was it good? You're so pretty. Your mommy's favorite girl." And on and on. I've mothered three dogs, and I have wished with all my might that I could have taught them how to speak English.
Who hasn't dreamed that they could be granted three wishes? When I was a little kid, I wished I could flap my arms and fly. I also wanted to be invisible. When I got older, I wished I could time travel. However, that traveling had to be into the future since going into the past might involved being cold and dirty or being mistaken for a witch. When I reached a certain age, I gave up wishful thinking and set realistic goals.
Here I am today, having accomplished most of those goals. I'm free again to yearn for the impossible. What do I want besides a dog who will debate me on the merits of kibble vs. wet food?
What about world peace? Yeah, I want get-Russia-out-of-the-Crimea, nobody-will-ever-step-on-an-IED kind of peace. But more than that,I wish everyone inner peace. I wish Michael Jackson hadn't been such a tortured soul. I wish the same for Paris Jackson and all the other celebrities who have everything but serenity. Jaycee Dugard, Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry, and Georgina DeJesus - I wish that you adjust and thrive as only a person without demons can. Victims of natural disasters and people wrongfully imprisoned - I wish you the inner calm that will give you the strength to endure until you are restored and made whole. The terminally ill - I wish you peaceful acceptance.
I don't need three wishes. Just one will do. The dog and I will get along just fine speaking different languages. And if she doesn't understand me, I'll talk louder.
Who hasn't dreamed that they could be granted three wishes? When I was a little kid, I wished I could flap my arms and fly. I also wanted to be invisible. When I got older, I wished I could time travel. However, that traveling had to be into the future since going into the past might involved being cold and dirty or being mistaken for a witch. When I reached a certain age, I gave up wishful thinking and set realistic goals.
Here I am today, having accomplished most of those goals. I'm free again to yearn for the impossible. What do I want besides a dog who will debate me on the merits of kibble vs. wet food?
What about world peace? Yeah, I want get-Russia-out-of-the-Crimea, nobody-will-ever-step-on-an-IED kind of peace. But more than that,I wish everyone inner peace. I wish Michael Jackson hadn't been such a tortured soul. I wish the same for Paris Jackson and all the other celebrities who have everything but serenity. Jaycee Dugard, Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry, and Georgina DeJesus - I wish that you adjust and thrive as only a person without demons can. Victims of natural disasters and people wrongfully imprisoned - I wish you the inner calm that will give you the strength to endure until you are restored and made whole. The terminally ill - I wish you peaceful acceptance.
I don't need three wishes. Just one will do. The dog and I will get along just fine speaking different languages. And if she doesn't understand me, I'll talk louder.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Cholesterol Free Oatmeal Cookies
My latest experiment turned out pretty well. I made cholesterol free oat meal cookies. Bear in mind these things aren't calorie free. If you over indulge, you will get fat. If you have to satisfy the urge for something baked, try these in moderation.
Dry Ingredients-
1/2 cup granulated white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar (I use "brownulated" sugar by Domino. Unlike regular brown sugar, the brownulated kind stays loose and pours from the bag.)
1-1/2 cups oats (the kind that cooks in one minute)
3/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
1/3 cup raisins
Wet Ingredients-
1/4 cup egg white
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/3 to 1/2 cup canola oil
Method-
Dump the dry ingredients into a bowl. Mix them up with a big spoon. Add the wet ingredients starting with egg white, then vanilla, then canola oil. After adding 1/3 cup of canola oil, stir the ingredients. If the dough holds together, you are ready to bake. If you need more oil, add the remainder slowly while stirring. Stop adding oil as soon as the dough sticks together nicely. Drop by spoonfuls on to a greased cookie sheet. You could also skip the grease and line your cookie sheet with parchment paper. The cookies just drop off the sheet, and you don't have to scrub the sheets when you are finished baking. Bake at 375° for 10-15 minutes depending on the size of your cookies. Makes about 25-30 cookies.
If you are tempted to substitute applesauce for the canola oil, DON'T! I tried that, and what came out of the oven was pretty bad.
Dry Ingredients-
1/2 cup granulated white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar (I use "brownulated" sugar by Domino. Unlike regular brown sugar, the brownulated kind stays loose and pours from the bag.)
1-1/2 cups oats (the kind that cooks in one minute)
3/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
1/3 cup raisins
Wet Ingredients-
1/4 cup egg white
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/3 to 1/2 cup canola oil
Method-
Dump the dry ingredients into a bowl. Mix them up with a big spoon. Add the wet ingredients starting with egg white, then vanilla, then canola oil. After adding 1/3 cup of canola oil, stir the ingredients. If the dough holds together, you are ready to bake. If you need more oil, add the remainder slowly while stirring. Stop adding oil as soon as the dough sticks together nicely. Drop by spoonfuls on to a greased cookie sheet. You could also skip the grease and line your cookie sheet with parchment paper. The cookies just drop off the sheet, and you don't have to scrub the sheets when you are finished baking. Bake at 375° for 10-15 minutes depending on the size of your cookies. Makes about 25-30 cookies.
If you are tempted to substitute applesauce for the canola oil, DON'T! I tried that, and what came out of the oven was pretty bad.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Happy Second Blog Day
Happy in Hainesport is two years old. Things have slowed down, but we're still here. Let's approach this thing with renewed dedication. Onward into year number three!
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