Do kids ask adults to tell them stories these days? I have a feeling that they are too busy staring into phones, or playing games on those same phones, to listen to some old head tell a PG narrative.
I wanted to hear yarns when I was a child. My parents were no good at spinning tales. I think the Great Depression made them unimaginative. My grandparents didn't talk fantasy (again, not much imagination), but they did share memories. Being that they were born in the early 1890's, their stories were interesting because they occurred before TV, transistor radios, and rocket ships. I heard about Hainesport School at the turn of the 20th century and my grandfather's duty as a stretcher bearer during the 1918 influenza pandemic. I also heard about electricity coming to town, installation of indoor plumbing, and the new kitchen sink and cabinets that my grandfather installed when he felt guilty after buying himself a boat.
Bedtime stories didn't happened at my house. I was a night owl child. Conversation or reading would have been of no use in lulling me off. I would have demanded conversation into the wee hours, or I would have read until dawn.
I'm still a night owl, but I have recently discovered that a bedtime story works better than Ambien. Thank you, Kindle Fire. I borrow an audio book from the library that looks uninteresting. I turn on the Kindle at bedtime and set the sleep timer for 30 minutes. Invariably, I drift off in about 15 minutes.
Sometimes the stories aren't as boring as expected. When that happens, I back track to the last part I remember, so I can eventually hear the entire book. I have plowed through a bunch of audio books. I play them during any task that doesn't make a racket. Here are the latest:
Mort(e) by Robert Repino - Ants mutate. They figure out how to cause human extinction and turn animals into high functioning beings. War ensues. A pet cat named Sebastian becomes a war hero named Mort(e). His postwar hunt for his best friend, a dog named Sheba, leads him to a colony of humans who have saved themselves by orbiting the earth. Mort(e) is the humans' messiah, Sheba's savior, and the ants' can of whoop-ass. Science fiction is so dumb.
High Society: The Life of Grace Kelly by Donald Spotto - Mr. Spotto had, over many years, unprecedented access to Grace Kelly. He waited 25 years after her death to write her biography. The book does not flatter her parents. Her career is examined in great detail and praised to high heaven. I suppose everybody knew that marrying the prince was no bed of roses.
Zig Zag: A True Story of Nazi Espionage, Love, and Betrayal by Ben Macintyre - Eddie Chapman was a double agent during World War II. In the end, his loyalty lay with the British side. This was an interesting story about spying during WW2, but more so, it was a fascinating look at a criminal, conman, and philanderer. After the war, Eddie's life remained the stuff of tabloid reporting.
The Zookeeper's Wife: A War Story by Diane Ackerman - During World War II, Jan Zabinski, the zookeeper at the Warsaw Zoo, along with his wife Antonia, saved about 300 Jews by hiding them in their home and in the animal cages.
Elvis Presley: The Man, the Life, the Legend by Pamela Clarke Keogh - Same old, same old. Elvis was polite, he loved his mama, his desire to become a serious actor was thwarted, he was a prisoner of his celebrity, he took lots of pills. Yet, after reading this book, I would stop at Graceland if ever I were in Memphis.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Fox Sighting, Mount Laurel, NJ
"It's a fox. Stop the car," I commanded. Mike and I were on our way to Carmike to see a movie when I spied a fairly large red fox trotting a cross a field. We stopped and so did the fox. We watched each other for 60 seconds or so, then the fox turned and walked toward the woods.
Red and gray foxes inhabit this area, but I have never seen one in person. When I was a teenager my mother talked about a fox that prowled around in the early morning hours. It was, by her account "mangy looking," and she expressed the opinion that foxes were a dying breed in these parts.
Today's facts contradict Mom's opinion from all those years ago. Foxes do especially well living in close proximity to suburban humans. It's even better for them if housing developments lie next to fields or wooded areas (as in Mount Laurel). Foxes and their canine relative coyotes are plentiful enough in New Jersey that it is legal to hunt them during deer season (if you have a deer hunting license) and during special fox/coyote season (with the required license). Foxes and coyotes don't cause many problems for home owners. They generally keep their distance. The best way to keep them out of your yard is to keep tight lids on your garbage cans. Foxes can share distemper and mange with pets and rabies with pets and humans. There were only 35 documented cases of rabies in Burlington County in 2013, but foxes can be infected. Foxes like to hunt at dawn and dusk, but they are not nocturnal. Seeing a fox during the day does not mean it has rabies. However, if a fox exhibits unprovoked aggression, impaired movement, lack of coordination, paralysis, or unusually docile or friendly behavior, steer clear and call Animal Control.
There's a big cute factor when it comes to foxes. Some people want to keep them as pets. I found an interesting article that explained the difference between a tame animal and a domesticated animal. A tame animal, one raised from birth by humans, will be adorable as a baby and will not threaten you when it is an adult. As much as you might desire it, a tame animal not engage with a human for play or affection. That animal still has wild genes and its offspring will be wild unless also tamed. Domestic dogs have distinctly different genes than their wild cousins (wolves, foxes, coyotes, jackals). Those genes make dogs real suck ups. They desire affection and attention, they lick, they wag their tails. Their offspring are born domesticated.
In 1959 a Soviet named Dmitry K. Belyaev began a secret breeding program aimed at domesticating foxes. After 30-35 generations the experiment succeeded. The price of a domesticated fox is about $8,000. The price is high because it takes an exotic animal importer to get these foxes into the United States. If you have that kind of money, and if your state will allow you to have a fox, you have to consider all the negatives of being a fox pet parent. Foxes are intelligent and curious, and that makes them destructive. They will dig and chew. They also pee in the house. Fox urine stinks - almost as bad as skunk urine. Foxes are also short lived, three years in the wild and 10 years under favorable conditions. A shelter cat or dog is a better buy.
http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-10/fyi-domesticated-foxes
It was a real treat to see that little, red critter. It brought memories of Aesop's fox and crow fable, Alison Uttley's Little Red Fox, and Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks. As Theodor Geisel said at the end of Fox in Socks, "Thank you for a lot of fun, sir."
Red and gray foxes inhabit this area, but I have never seen one in person. When I was a teenager my mother talked about a fox that prowled around in the early morning hours. It was, by her account "mangy looking," and she expressed the opinion that foxes were a dying breed in these parts.
Today's facts contradict Mom's opinion from all those years ago. Foxes do especially well living in close proximity to suburban humans. It's even better for them if housing developments lie next to fields or wooded areas (as in Mount Laurel). Foxes and their canine relative coyotes are plentiful enough in New Jersey that it is legal to hunt them during deer season (if you have a deer hunting license) and during special fox/coyote season (with the required license). Foxes and coyotes don't cause many problems for home owners. They generally keep their distance. The best way to keep them out of your yard is to keep tight lids on your garbage cans. Foxes can share distemper and mange with pets and rabies with pets and humans. There were only 35 documented cases of rabies in Burlington County in 2013, but foxes can be infected. Foxes like to hunt at dawn and dusk, but they are not nocturnal. Seeing a fox during the day does not mean it has rabies. However, if a fox exhibits unprovoked aggression, impaired movement, lack of coordination, paralysis, or unusually docile or friendly behavior, steer clear and call Animal Control.
There's a big cute factor when it comes to foxes. Some people want to keep them as pets. I found an interesting article that explained the difference between a tame animal and a domesticated animal. A tame animal, one raised from birth by humans, will be adorable as a baby and will not threaten you when it is an adult. As much as you might desire it, a tame animal not engage with a human for play or affection. That animal still has wild genes and its offspring will be wild unless also tamed. Domestic dogs have distinctly different genes than their wild cousins (wolves, foxes, coyotes, jackals). Those genes make dogs real suck ups. They desire affection and attention, they lick, they wag their tails. Their offspring are born domesticated.
In 1959 a Soviet named Dmitry K. Belyaev began a secret breeding program aimed at domesticating foxes. After 30-35 generations the experiment succeeded. The price of a domesticated fox is about $8,000. The price is high because it takes an exotic animal importer to get these foxes into the United States. If you have that kind of money, and if your state will allow you to have a fox, you have to consider all the negatives of being a fox pet parent. Foxes are intelligent and curious, and that makes them destructive. They will dig and chew. They also pee in the house. Fox urine stinks - almost as bad as skunk urine. Foxes are also short lived, three years in the wild and 10 years under favorable conditions. A shelter cat or dog is a better buy.
http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-10/fyi-domesticated-foxes
It was a real treat to see that little, red critter. It brought memories of Aesop's fox and crow fable, Alison Uttley's Little Red Fox, and Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks. As Theodor Geisel said at the end of Fox in Socks, "Thank you for a lot of fun, sir."
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Tom, the Mailman
Employees of the United States Postal Service don't have an easy job. They serve a public that complains if the mail is delivered too early in the day or too late, that gripes about the mountains of junk mail they receive, or that proclaims their parcels are left standing in the rain, baking in the sun, or frozen to the ground. I don't have any complaints about my mail service. I have the best mailman in the entire world. If Mike or I happen to be outside when he makes his delivery, he always has a smile and a kind word. He brings all packages to the porch and leaves them well out of any form of precipitation. He also leaves a Christmas card in our box each year.
Yesterday a package I was expecting from Amazon got misdirected to Mount Laurel. I rescheduled my delivery online. The next day Tom was on the porch apologizing for the crossed wires with the Mount Laurel post office.
"Just call if you have a problem. We're only too glad to help," he said.
This most recent of pleasant encounters got me thinking about mailmen and mail delivery. Most people know that Benjamin Franklin was the first Postmaster General. He was appointed to the position in 1775. Here are some other postal milestones:
1794 - The first letter carriers were appointed by Congress.
1808 - Robert Fulton began carrying mail by steamboat.
1832 - The government began moving mail by train.
1860 - The Pony Express started what was supposed to be a rapid mail delivery system. The project ended 18 months later. There were two main reasons for the project's failure - the development of the telegraph and the high price of Pony Express deliveries. The Express charged $5.00 for a half ounce letter that could be delivered normally for 10¢.
1863 - Free delivery was instituted in large cities. Before free delivery citizens had to go to the post office to pick up mail.
1896 - Rural Free Delivery began. When I was a kid, our mail was addressed "R.F.D. #2, Hainesport, New Jersey." Our mailman was Evan Cline. He delivered the mail with his station wagon, somehow managing to drive left and deliver right from the middle of the bench seat.
1907 - Most mail was delivered by horse drawn wagons, but beginning in 1907 postmen had the option of making deliveries on bicycle or on the newly available motorcycle.
1913 - The Parcel Post began operating.
1918 - Air mail service began.
1959 - The U.S. Navy submarine USS Barbero delivered mail to the mainland via guided missile. There was talk about how using missiles would speed mail delivery, but the project never got off the ground because no one could justify the high cost.
Say what you will about email, fax, text, and online bill paying, I still like that trip to the mailbox six days per week. Thanks, Tom. You deliver.
Yesterday a package I was expecting from Amazon got misdirected to Mount Laurel. I rescheduled my delivery online. The next day Tom was on the porch apologizing for the crossed wires with the Mount Laurel post office.
"Just call if you have a problem. We're only too glad to help," he said.
This most recent of pleasant encounters got me thinking about mailmen and mail delivery. Most people know that Benjamin Franklin was the first Postmaster General. He was appointed to the position in 1775. Here are some other postal milestones:
1794 - The first letter carriers were appointed by Congress.
1808 - Robert Fulton began carrying mail by steamboat.
1832 - The government began moving mail by train.
1860 - The Pony Express started what was supposed to be a rapid mail delivery system. The project ended 18 months later. There were two main reasons for the project's failure - the development of the telegraph and the high price of Pony Express deliveries. The Express charged $5.00 for a half ounce letter that could be delivered normally for 10¢.
1863 - Free delivery was instituted in large cities. Before free delivery citizens had to go to the post office to pick up mail.
1896 - Rural Free Delivery began. When I was a kid, our mail was addressed "R.F.D. #2, Hainesport, New Jersey." Our mailman was Evan Cline. He delivered the mail with his station wagon, somehow managing to drive left and deliver right from the middle of the bench seat.
1907 - Most mail was delivered by horse drawn wagons, but beginning in 1907 postmen had the option of making deliveries on bicycle or on the newly available motorcycle.
1913 - The Parcel Post began operating.
1918 - Air mail service began.
1959 - The U.S. Navy submarine USS Barbero delivered mail to the mainland via guided missile. There was talk about how using missiles would speed mail delivery, but the project never got off the ground because no one could justify the high cost.
Say what you will about email, fax, text, and online bill paying, I still like that trip to the mailbox six days per week. Thanks, Tom. You deliver.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Cross Stitch Christmas Stocking
My sister excels at counted cross stitch. She has created cross stitch masterpieces that are matted and framed like fine art. Old timey sampler designs and beautiful country scenes hang on her walls She has an artist easel that she uses to display her works that have a seasonal or holiday theme. One of the nicest things my sister ever did for me was stitch a beautiful blonde angel (representing me, of course) that I turned into a Christmas stocking. She also stitched a Santa Claus to represent Mike.
All good dogs should have a Christmas stocking, and I have been thinking about Mardi's stocking since her puppihood in 2011. I was shy about asking Sis to take on this job. If Mardi were a Labrador retriever or a pug, there would be cross stitch patterns aplenty that could be modified to fit my purpose. However, Mardi is a poodle mix that doesn't look all that poodly when she is shorn. I could design a stocking covered with paw prints and dog bones, but I wanted her likeness. After Christmas 2014, I decided to get cracking on the stocking project. I googled "poodle," "black poodle," "poodle puppies," and all I could find were pointy snouted, long eared, puff tailed critters. Finally, Pinterest turned up complete instructions for this:
The facial expression and stubby legs resemble Mardi. Now the challenge was to convert the brown colors to grays and black. I am a great technician, but I am not an artiste. This wasn't going to be easy. My method was to gather all the brown colors in the pattern and lay them out in the aisle at Joann. Then I collected all the shades of gray that DMC manufactures. Mardi is blackest black, but using grays was the only way I could figure out how to shade in the details. I also used some black. I chose a gray substitution for each of the original colors based on tone. I would use black for the eyes, nose, outline, and deepest shadows. I also decided to change the beige/tan color of the hat band and fuzzy ball to white and palest gray shades. I thought that was a better blend with gray/black fur. Fortunately, no one was shopping for cross stitch thread, so I was able to block the aisle for the hour or so that I labored over this task.
At this point I was thinking I'm on a real roll. I can count. Heck, I can stitch this project myself. Well folks, it wasn't that easy. Those X's are tiny, and even with bifocals, my eyesight isn't what it used to be. Armed with a magnifier hanging around my neck, I tackled the job. My sister coached by email. This is the result:
 |
| My Stocking. |
All good dogs should have a Christmas stocking, and I have been thinking about Mardi's stocking since her puppihood in 2011. I was shy about asking Sis to take on this job. If Mardi were a Labrador retriever or a pug, there would be cross stitch patterns aplenty that could be modified to fit my purpose. However, Mardi is a poodle mix that doesn't look all that poodly when she is shorn. I could design a stocking covered with paw prints and dog bones, but I wanted her likeness. After Christmas 2014, I decided to get cracking on the stocking project. I googled "poodle," "black poodle," "poodle puppies," and all I could find were pointy snouted, long eared, puff tailed critters. Finally, Pinterest turned up complete instructions for this:
 |
| Thanks to the Potuguese blogger who posted this: sandrinhapontocruz.blogspot.com |
The facial expression and stubby legs resemble Mardi. Now the challenge was to convert the brown colors to grays and black. I am a great technician, but I am not an artiste. This wasn't going to be easy. My method was to gather all the brown colors in the pattern and lay them out in the aisle at Joann. Then I collected all the shades of gray that DMC manufactures. Mardi is blackest black, but using grays was the only way I could figure out how to shade in the details. I also used some black. I chose a gray substitution for each of the original colors based on tone. I would use black for the eyes, nose, outline, and deepest shadows. I also decided to change the beige/tan color of the hat band and fuzzy ball to white and palest gray shades. I thought that was a better blend with gray/black fur. Fortunately, no one was shopping for cross stitch thread, so I was able to block the aisle for the hour or so that I labored over this task.
At this point I was thinking I'm on a real roll. I can count. Heck, I can stitch this project myself. Well folks, it wasn't that easy. Those X's are tiny, and even with bifocals, my eyesight isn't what it used to be. Armed with a magnifier hanging around my neck, I tackled the job. My sister coached by email. This is the result:
 |
| I think I must have stitched about 4,000 little X's. |
 |
| A work in progress - I colored in each stitch as I worked through the chart. |
 |
| The Finished Cross Stitch. |
 |
| Mardi examined her stocking. |
 |
| This will hang on the mantel instead of the kitchen cabinets in December 2015. |
Monday, March 9, 2015
Thought for the Day
I don't want to label myself a Baby Boomer. I prefer to be called Mid-Century Modern.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Spring Thaw
Yeah, yeah, we're all complaining about the cold, but wasn't this last snow storm pretty? This is the view from my kitchen window:
The family weatherman (so cool to have a meteorologist in the fold) says winter is over. If that's true, then what a way for old, man winter to go out - a beautiful white blanket for a couple of days followed by melting and milder temperatures that transition to spring. You shouldn't count your daffodils before they sprout, but this once I'll be a believer. I'm putting the snow shovel away.
I thought it would be fun to gather some winter statistics. Many people (me included) think the winter of 2013-2014 was one of the most miserable seasons ever. It was colder than the usual winter with more snaps of extreme cold. Also, there was more snow than usual. However, the winter of 1978-1979 was the coldest in United States history. Highway crews couldn't manage to clear Route 38, and it was covered by a layer of ice until spring thaw. I worked at Burlington County College back then, and I remember sliding to and from work for a couple of months.
The biggest snow fall in Philadelphia area history occurred from January 6-8, 1996. We got 31 inches during the three day blizzard. I got three days off work.
So, what was the lowest temperature recorded in this area - just the temperature without wind chill factored into things? According to the National Weather Service, the coldest recorded official temperature was -7° Fahrenheit at Philadelphia International Airport in 1984.
Our creative juices must have been frozen in 1979, 1984, and 1996. It wasn't until 2009 that someone coined the word snowpocalyse. Then came snowmageddon in 2011.
So, here's to spring, a nice, average spring, with no record breaking and no new vocabulary.
The family weatherman (so cool to have a meteorologist in the fold) says winter is over. If that's true, then what a way for old, man winter to go out - a beautiful white blanket for a couple of days followed by melting and milder temperatures that transition to spring. You shouldn't count your daffodils before they sprout, but this once I'll be a believer. I'm putting the snow shovel away.
I thought it would be fun to gather some winter statistics. Many people (me included) think the winter of 2013-2014 was one of the most miserable seasons ever. It was colder than the usual winter with more snaps of extreme cold. Also, there was more snow than usual. However, the winter of 1978-1979 was the coldest in United States history. Highway crews couldn't manage to clear Route 38, and it was covered by a layer of ice until spring thaw. I worked at Burlington County College back then, and I remember sliding to and from work for a couple of months.
The biggest snow fall in Philadelphia area history occurred from January 6-8, 1996. We got 31 inches during the three day blizzard. I got three days off work.
So, what was the lowest temperature recorded in this area - just the temperature without wind chill factored into things? According to the National Weather Service, the coldest recorded official temperature was -7° Fahrenheit at Philadelphia International Airport in 1984.
Our creative juices must have been frozen in 1979, 1984, and 1996. It wasn't until 2009 that someone coined the word snowpocalyse. Then came snowmageddon in 2011.
So, here's to spring, a nice, average spring, with no record breaking and no new vocabulary.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Happy Third Blog Day to Happy in Hainesport
H in H is just a modest success. It doesn't generate income and it hasn't brought me fame or notoriety. Every now and then a post strikes a chord, and 1,000 people read an article. However, most of the time the same fifteen loyal readers come back day after day. My success lies mainly in the fact most blogs last about one month and H in H is entering its fourth year. That doesn't make me a great writer, but sure as shootin' I'm tenacious.
Back in 2012, I tried a few things to generate interest in the blog. I sent a postcard to every household in Hainesport announcing the establishment of H in H. I also placed a sign in the back window of my car proclaiming that everyone should be reading the blog by the gal from Hainesport. Imagine my satisfaction the day I looked into the rear view mirror and discovered the motorist behind me was reading my sign out loud to her passenger. Yes, I have lip reading skills. I always carry a pile of homemade business cards that I tack up on every public bulletin board I pass - grocery stores, diners, and the local post office beg the public to google me. I asked everyone in my email contacts to ask everyone in their email contacts (and so on and so on) to read the blog, hoping to get a Happy in Hainesport chain letter going. I think somebody broke that chain. I shamelessly promoted myself on Facebook and Pinterest.
The other day I was driving down the Marne Highway, crossing the line between Mount Laurel and Hainesport townships. There was a brand new advertisement on a previously empty billboard. What a great place for a Happy in Hainesport advertisement I mused. What would that cost?
My mother used to say if you can read, you can do anything. I say if you want to know something, look it up on the internet. I found a very informative article from New Jersey Outdoor Media that says billboards cost anywhere from a lot to a real whole lot. Prices vary based on the location of the billboard (major highway or secondary road), the size of the billboard (12 X 24 or 12 X 40 or larger), the number of cars that travel past the sign (a figure that is complied by the Department of Transportation), and installation and the cost of the vinyl used to print the advertisement. Other factors are the number of available billboards in the area where you want to advertise (supply and demand), the length of your contract, and whether or not you are renting one or multiple billboards. A billboard could cost from $450 per month to $10,000 per month. http://jerseyoutdoor.blogspot.com/2010/11/how-much-do-billboards-cost.html
And I thought the price of advertising a yard sale in the Burlington County Times had gotten out of hand.
I'll keep thumb tacking cards to bulletin boards. Maybe on a nice day, I'll sink to the annoying practice of slipping flyers under wiper blades. Those whom I do not piss off might take a look. Maybe I could build my own billboard and plant it on the front lawn, provided that doesn't violate any local ordinances.
Or I could just write when I feel inspired and put it out there for the fifteen friends and relatives who check in with me via blogger.com. Thanks guys for the past three years.
Back in 2012, I tried a few things to generate interest in the blog. I sent a postcard to every household in Hainesport announcing the establishment of H in H. I also placed a sign in the back window of my car proclaiming that everyone should be reading the blog by the gal from Hainesport. Imagine my satisfaction the day I looked into the rear view mirror and discovered the motorist behind me was reading my sign out loud to her passenger. Yes, I have lip reading skills. I always carry a pile of homemade business cards that I tack up on every public bulletin board I pass - grocery stores, diners, and the local post office beg the public to google me. I asked everyone in my email contacts to ask everyone in their email contacts (and so on and so on) to read the blog, hoping to get a Happy in Hainesport chain letter going. I think somebody broke that chain. I shamelessly promoted myself on Facebook and Pinterest.
The other day I was driving down the Marne Highway, crossing the line between Mount Laurel and Hainesport townships. There was a brand new advertisement on a previously empty billboard. What a great place for a Happy in Hainesport advertisement I mused. What would that cost?
My mother used to say if you can read, you can do anything. I say if you want to know something, look it up on the internet. I found a very informative article from New Jersey Outdoor Media that says billboards cost anywhere from a lot to a real whole lot. Prices vary based on the location of the billboard (major highway or secondary road), the size of the billboard (12 X 24 or 12 X 40 or larger), the number of cars that travel past the sign (a figure that is complied by the Department of Transportation), and installation and the cost of the vinyl used to print the advertisement. Other factors are the number of available billboards in the area where you want to advertise (supply and demand), the length of your contract, and whether or not you are renting one or multiple billboards. A billboard could cost from $450 per month to $10,000 per month. http://jerseyoutdoor.blogspot.com/2010/11/how-much-do-billboards-cost.html
And I thought the price of advertising a yard sale in the Burlington County Times had gotten out of hand.
I'll keep thumb tacking cards to bulletin boards. Maybe on a nice day, I'll sink to the annoying practice of slipping flyers under wiper blades. Those whom I do not piss off might take a look. Maybe I could build my own billboard and plant it on the front lawn, provided that doesn't violate any local ordinances.
Or I could just write when I feel inspired and put it out there for the fifteen friends and relatives who check in with me via blogger.com. Thanks guys for the past three years.
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