Friday, June 28, 2019
Thursday, June 27, 2019
I'm Sorry, Toad
The nursery dropped four cubic yards of mulch in my driveway a couple of weeks ago.
"That's a lot of mulch," my neighbor remarked. "Are you planning to move all of that by yourself?"
Well, yes. Mulch isn't very heavy. Moving and spreading it is not beyond my abilities, so I began moving my mountain, one wheel barrow load at a time.
A pitch fork works best for shoveling up mulch. I noticed that something remained stuck to the pitchfork after heaving a scoop into my barrow. Oh, my God! A rather large toad had burrowed into the cool, damp mulch, and I had impaled the poor guy. I stabbed him through his hind leg, and there he was, dangling from my instrument of torture.
With my gloved hand, I carefully slid him off his skewer and placed him on the driveway.
"Oh, I'm sorry Toadie," I apologized. How badly was he injured? Would the wound be fatal? Toads are good. They eat bugs. I was filled with remorse. The toad sat on the stone driveway breathing heavily and glaring at me with one eye.
There wasn't any fluid leaking from the leg, and then he hopped. Good, no broken bones, maybe no serious muscle damage. Should the wound be cleaned? I filled a watering can with water and began showering the toad. He bounced away at lightening speed.
I have seen turtles with scarred shells, one-eyed cats, and three legged dogs. I supposed the toad would heal and live to eat bugs for another season or two. I felt really awful about what I had done, though. Unless that old toad decides to hold me accountable for his punctured hind leg. If that happens, then my position is going to be that he shouldn't have been sleeping in my mulch pile in the first place.
"That's a lot of mulch," my neighbor remarked. "Are you planning to move all of that by yourself?"
Well, yes. Mulch isn't very heavy. Moving and spreading it is not beyond my abilities, so I began moving my mountain, one wheel barrow load at a time.
A pitch fork works best for shoveling up mulch. I noticed that something remained stuck to the pitchfork after heaving a scoop into my barrow. Oh, my God! A rather large toad had burrowed into the cool, damp mulch, and I had impaled the poor guy. I stabbed him through his hind leg, and there he was, dangling from my instrument of torture.
With my gloved hand, I carefully slid him off his skewer and placed him on the driveway.
"Oh, I'm sorry Toadie," I apologized. How badly was he injured? Would the wound be fatal? Toads are good. They eat bugs. I was filled with remorse. The toad sat on the stone driveway breathing heavily and glaring at me with one eye.
There wasn't any fluid leaking from the leg, and then he hopped. Good, no broken bones, maybe no serious muscle damage. Should the wound be cleaned? I filled a watering can with water and began showering the toad. He bounced away at lightening speed.
I have seen turtles with scarred shells, one-eyed cats, and three legged dogs. I supposed the toad would heal and live to eat bugs for another season or two. I felt really awful about what I had done, though. Unless that old toad decides to hold me accountable for his punctured hind leg. If that happens, then my position is going to be that he shouldn't have been sleeping in my mulch pile in the first place.
Wednesday, June 19, 2019
Gunsmoke II
Finally, some Gunsmoke episodes have ended on an uplifting note. Season 8 is not the downer that Season 7 was. I feel better now.
Saturday, June 15, 2019
Gunsmoke
Back in 1992 Bruce Springsteen released a song titled "57 Channels (And Nothin' On)." What was true then is truer now. I have 1,000 channels, and there is not a darn thing to watch.
The other night, I scrolled and scrolled, finally settling on "Gunsmoke" reruns. I figured, if I had seen these programs, I wouldn't remember them. More than fifty years had passed since they first aired. I settled in for a late night visit with Marshall Dillon, the Doc, and Miss Kitty.
At 1:00 a.m., I put down my crocheting thinking, My God, that was bleak.
In "Lacey," an innocent, young thing is convinced by her murderous boyfriend to take the blame for her father's killing. When she finally understands that her fiancé never really loved her and that her father was right all along about the bum, she shoots the boyfriend. As she is lead off to the jailhouse, she asks Matt Dillon if it's true that they have never hung a woman as young as she. Matt assures her that he has never known a girl her age to be executed. Of course, we all know she is going to swing. Bleak.
"Cody's Code" is about a middle aged guy (Cody) who falls for one of Kitty's saloon girls. He worships this pretty, younger woman, builds her a house, and socks money away for their future. Everything runs on course until a cad bothers the saloon girl and a handsome hero (her own age) saves her. She falls for her hero and plans to run off with him. Cody finds out and shoots the interloper. Cody, up until that point, the best human being in Dodge City, is headed off to jail to await his fate.
"Old Dan" is a hopeless drunk whom Doc sobers up. Kindhearted Dodge City residents bend over backwards to give Dan a sober fresh start. The owner of the general store thinks Dan is a terrific employee until he comes to work one morning and finds Dan drunk on the floor after bingeing on the vanilla extract. Next, a farmer takes on the project of reforming Dan. The farmer's wayward son comes home and forces his father and Dan to spend the night drinking. During the brawl that follows the drinking, Dan kills the son and the father dies of injuries received during the fracas. Dan thinks out loud as he carried off to jail. He has finally realized that no one can reform a drunk until the drunk wants to reform himself.
"Gunsmoke" ran for 635 episodes. I'm wondering if there was one happy ending in the entire lot. The show was for adults or probably should have been rated PG-13. All the realism and explicit content went over the head of younger me. I'm enjoying the show now that I finally get it.
The other night, I scrolled and scrolled, finally settling on "Gunsmoke" reruns. I figured, if I had seen these programs, I wouldn't remember them. More than fifty years had passed since they first aired. I settled in for a late night visit with Marshall Dillon, the Doc, and Miss Kitty.
At 1:00 a.m., I put down my crocheting thinking, My God, that was bleak.
In "Lacey," an innocent, young thing is convinced by her murderous boyfriend to take the blame for her father's killing. When she finally understands that her fiancé never really loved her and that her father was right all along about the bum, she shoots the boyfriend. As she is lead off to the jailhouse, she asks Matt Dillon if it's true that they have never hung a woman as young as she. Matt assures her that he has never known a girl her age to be executed. Of course, we all know she is going to swing. Bleak.
"Cody's Code" is about a middle aged guy (Cody) who falls for one of Kitty's saloon girls. He worships this pretty, younger woman, builds her a house, and socks money away for their future. Everything runs on course until a cad bothers the saloon girl and a handsome hero (her own age) saves her. She falls for her hero and plans to run off with him. Cody finds out and shoots the interloper. Cody, up until that point, the best human being in Dodge City, is headed off to jail to await his fate.
"Old Dan" is a hopeless drunk whom Doc sobers up. Kindhearted Dodge City residents bend over backwards to give Dan a sober fresh start. The owner of the general store thinks Dan is a terrific employee until he comes to work one morning and finds Dan drunk on the floor after bingeing on the vanilla extract. Next, a farmer takes on the project of reforming Dan. The farmer's wayward son comes home and forces his father and Dan to spend the night drinking. During the brawl that follows the drinking, Dan kills the son and the father dies of injuries received during the fracas. Dan thinks out loud as he carried off to jail. He has finally realized that no one can reform a drunk until the drunk wants to reform himself.
"Gunsmoke" ran for 635 episodes. I'm wondering if there was one happy ending in the entire lot. The show was for adults or probably should have been rated PG-13. All the realism and explicit content went over the head of younger me. I'm enjoying the show now that I finally get it.
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