The Humor (and the Dangers) of Eating Too Fast

     This video is all over the internet:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZobqUJvb9A

     With the help of a cordless drill, the young man in the video strips the kernels off an ear of corn in record time.
     There are pie eating contests and hot dog eating contests.  I suppose they do little harm if done once per year at the county fair.  Routinely wolfing down meals is a bad practice, though.  In fact, some health professions say eating too fast leads to an early grave.  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2064544/Why-eating-quickly-fast-track-early-grave.html
People who eat quickly tend to be overweight.  Being overweight can lead to diabetes.  Before they even know it, fast eaters have consumed too many calories.  That's because it takes twenty minutes after eating for digestive processes to tell the brain you are full.  If you eat slowly, your brain will get the message you are full on less food.  There is actually a talking dinner plate that warns diners to eat slowly.  Bitching Betty (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bitching_Betty) in a dinner plate.  I wonder how many people who bought the plate ended up executing Betty in the dishwasher.  People who eat quickly also tend to develop acid reflux, and that can lead to esophageal cancer.  The least dangerous but most offensive side effect of fast eating is gulping air along with the food.  Those people tend to be gassy.
     So, if you want to curb your tendency to inhale your meals, take some mellow advice from Simon and Garfunkel.  Just adjust the lyrics to "The 59th Street Bridge Song" a little bit -

     Slow down, you eat too fast
     You got to make this mealtime last
     Don't eat us out of house and home
     Don't dine and dash, and you'll feel groovy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBQxG0Z72qM