HGTV as Spectator Sport

     I was stripping sheets off beds when silence broke.  You can't afford that house, you jackass!  Mike was watching HGTV.
     Home & Garden Television has become like spectator sport for us.  We both equally love watching it.  We holler at the players; we holler at the hosts; we make predictions about the outcome.
     It's Number 1.  It has the lowest price.
     It's Number 2.  It has a pool.
     It's Number 3.  There was no furniture in that one.  That's a dead give away.
     We boo one of the hosts, Hilary Farr from "Love It or List It," as any sports fan would boo a bad referee.  She never has enough money in the budget to do the job the homeowners have set out for her.  She delivers her dictum in every episode that "there simply isn't enough money."  It's her version of calling holding on every play.  We boo a certain type of home buyer - the ones who say, "It's a bit small."  Or, "I was really hoping for stainless steel."  Or, "I hate laminate.  I was hoping for real hardwood floors."
     We have zero patience for the people who have been looking for a house for a couple of years. Stop agonizing over which fixer upper to choose.  Drew and Jonathan will turn whatever you pick into a thing of beauty.  So just swing batter, swing.
     We even have a cheer:

     U-G-L-Y, That house ain't got no alibi.
     It's ugly.  It's ugly.

     Maybe we get a little carried away, but it's harmless fun.  So far, we haven't held up any signs (or held up the latest copy of HGTV Magazine that graces our coffee table).  A spontaneous wave will never break out in our living room.  Also, we don't annoy anyone when we leave our seats to go to the bathroom.