You Know You Are From Hainesport If ...

     Blogger has a feature that allows me to see what searches lead people to the blog.  Sometimes they plug "how to darn socks" or "old ladies who get tattoos" into their search engines.  The other day I noticed someone entered the phrase "you know you are from Hainesport if ..." into their Google or Bing or Dogpile.  It was probably a township resident with a sense of humor and some time to kill.
     It got me thinking.  How do you identify someone from Hainesport.  Does it show on a person's face or in their demeanor?  Does a person have to open their mouth to give themself away?  When I was in grade school lots of kids pronounced the word "street" as "shtreet."  Was that a Hainesport accent?
     I have decided you most likely have Hainesport roots if you know about Harry's Road Market, Paul's Drive In, or the Shady Rest.  Ditto if you know where The Heights, Claremont, and Oakdale are.  If you and your children had the same teachers, you might have been educated at Hainesport School.  Thank you Mr. Dinkler, Mr. Cook, and Miss Saitta.  If your house has only been hooked up to public sewers for a decade, you are from Hainesport.
     I've had a couple of encounters that lead me to believe Hainesport is this area's best kept secret.  From time to time I speak to someone from a couple of town's over, and they ask, "Where is Hainesport?"
     I'm tempted to answer, "About three miles, as the crow flies, from your front door."  But I explain that my town lies between Mt. Laurel, Lumberton, and Mt. Holly.
     "Has it always been there?"
     "Just since 1924."
     If someone not knowing that Hainesport exists blows your mind, then you are definately from Hainesport.  You might be living in Djibouti, but you'll always be from Hainesport.