Waste Not, Want Not

     My puppy Mardi is a vigorous chewer, and I was running through a rawhide bone each day.  This was getting expensive, but what could I give her to chew that would keep her away from our shoes and the furniture?  The answer was on the internet – bully sticks.

     My research told me that bully sticks last a long, long time.  They are a natural product and dogs love them, so went to Petsmart for a bag of bully sticks.

     The object of my search was not hard to find.  It was right there in the aisle with dozens of other dog chews.  There were dental chews for clean teeth and rawhide chews sized from a petite three inches to yard long specimens that looked like dinosaur bones.  There were plastic chews called Nyla-bones, but I wasn’t sure I wanted my dog to swallow the little bits of nylon that she would surely gnaw off the toy, so I chose the bully sticks.

     The first order of business was to read the package.  Bully sticks might stain fabrics.  That’s no problem because I can put an old towel under the dog while she enjoys a session of chewing.  They are “proudly” made in the United States.  That’s a plus.  Finally, I checked the

ingredients – 100% beef pizzle.  What is pizzle?  I asked a woman shopping next to me, “Do you have any idea what beef pizzle is?”  No, she didn’t.  I threw the question out to a group of shoppers in my aisle.  I got blank looks and shrugs.  I decided that if I didn’t know what comprised a bully stick, I wouldn’t buy it. 

     I returned home pizzleless and went straight to the internet.  I went to Google and searched “pizzle”.  Pizzle is an old English word for penis.  Next I googled “beef pizzle.”  Here’s what I found on www.bullysticks4dogs.com :

Bully sticks, also known as beef pizzles, pizzle sticks, beef sticks, steer stix, are made from 100% bull penises. Bull penis is a single ingredient of bully sticks. Some suppliers and merchants say that they sell bully sticks made of "beef tendons" or "dried muscles" as that part of the anatomy is a tendon and muscle indeed, and this may sound less repulsive for some people with psychological barrier thinking of feeding bull privates to their furbabies.

The article went on to explain the manufacturing process for turning you-know-whats into dog treats, but I won’t go into that here.

     My surprise turned to mirth.  Next, I sent emails to everyone I knew.  When my husband got home from work, I told him.  That’s when we reverted to adolescence. 

     “Where’s the dog?”

     “Eating her pizzle.”

     “Where would you like to go out to eat tonight?”

     “The Western Pizzler.”

     “Don’t be such a pickle puss,” became, “Don’t be such a pizzle puss.”

     I received responses to my emails.

     “Yuk!”

     “Don’t give those nasty things to your little girl.”

     But the little girl loved them, and a good sized pizzle lasted a week.  That was worth at least seven raw hide chews.  We decided to stick with bully sticks.

     I think these old saws pretty much sum up the bully stick experience:

     A wise head makes a closed mouth.  Remember that one the next time you are tempted to ask the general populace the definition of a word.

     You learn something new every day.

     And finally: Waste not, want not.