Things That I Swear At

     We've reviewed the things I swear by.  Now it's time for the things that make me swear.  First on my list of grievances is screaming brats.  I hate hearing kids wailing two tables over in a restaurant.  It seems today's parents have the ability to tune it out and enjoy their meals.  Well, your enfant terrible is ruining my night out.  One of you is going to have to get your meal wrapped up, and you're going to have to take your youngster to the car.  The same goes for holy terrors in stores.  Too bad unruly children in airplanes can't travel with the baggage.  On the same subject of parents and kids, I hate Octomom.  There is something screwed up in that woman's head.  Finally, there are the Duggars.  Nineteen kids is probably fifteen too many.
     I even found things swear worthy when I was a kid.  Though my idea of swearing back then was saying fart and crap.  I hated vacation.  It always involved sitting on the edge of the back seat for three days in a hot car while my car sick sister slept off her Dramamine.  No matter how many license plate games or guessing games of "I see something green" my mother employed to amuse me, I smelled vomit and I wanted to go home.  Like all Baby Boomers, I watched a lot of television.  I couldn't understand why women in westerns were so helpless.  They either fainted or stood in the corner saucer eyed, biting their clenched fists.  Come on, they weren't out there in the Colorado Territory as ambassadors of gentility.  They were either gun toting, covered wagon driving pioneers or they were the town whores.  Sweetheart, grab a weapon of opportunity and bash the bad guy over the head.
     Coming back up to date, those dummies on Jay Leno's "Jaywalking" segment leave me muttering and shaking my head. http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80691723/  I've heard plenty of stupid answers in my life, but these folks take the cake.  Finally, there's the Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan.  He can't be performing all those miraculous transformations with those misfit animals.  I have a suspicion that the "pssssst" sound he uses to keep dogs in line is pure hokum.  He's probably laughing his butt off thinking about all the suckers who out there hissing at their dogs.  Alright, I admit it.  I "psssst-ed" Mardi once.  It got her attention the first time, but never again.  If I can get Mike's cooperation, I'll post a video of how I whisper to the mutt these days.