I'm always poking my nose in on the subject of children. I just read an article that started me thinking about the topic of appropriate punishment. A team of girls in Utah, one age 11 and one age 13, befriended a three-year-old at a McDonald's, then got some scissors and cut off the toddler's ponytail.
The authorities became involved, and the two older girls ended up in court. The 11 year old was told to cut her hair off as short as the judge's hair (traditional man's haircut length). She was permitted to go to a hairdresser and report back to the judge for his approval on the length of her hair. The thirteen year old, Kaytlen Lopan, was ordered to serve 30 days in a detention center, pay restitution to her victim (just what is the monetary value of a three-year-old's ponytail?), and perform 276 hours of community service. The judge offered to reduce the community service by 150 hours if Kaytlen's mother, Valerie Bruno, would cut off Kaytlen's ponytail, right there in the court room. Ms. Bruno cut off her daughter's hair. She had to cut it all the way back to the rubber band since the little victim's mother would not approve of her attempt to leave it longer.
Now Ms. Bruno has filed a complaint against the judge saying she felt intimidated by him. She states that she would not have taken the judge up on his offer to reduce the community service hours if she had known her rights and had consulted a lawyer before going to court.
There is a word that sums up what happened here - talion. It means a punishment identical to the offense. The Latin phrase lex talionis (and lawyers have a Latin phrase for everything) is the principle of "an eye for an eye." In English, it's the law of talion. This concept goes back to the earliest civilizations. One theory of how the principle took hold is that it was a more orderly way to resolve disputes than the feuds and vendettas that threatened the social order. An eye for an eye justice was practiced in Judiaism and in Islamic cultures. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_for_an_eye
Christianity took a different approach to punishment. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus advised his followers to stop seeking vengeance. Instead they should "turn the other cheek" - practice forgiveness. Mahatma Ghandi said, "An-eye-for-an-eye-for-an-eye-for-an-eye...ends in making everyone blind."
So, what was the right thing to do with Kaytlen Lopan? She will go to a detention center for 30 days, where (hopefully) she will have her psyche probed. During the trial, Kaytlen also admitted that she made threats of rape and mutilation, over an eight month period, in phone calls to another teenager. It seems to me that this hair cutting prank was much more than childish high jinks and bad judgement. It makes me wonder if this incident was practice for worse acts to come, a la Leopold and Loeb. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leopold_and_Loeb If Kaytlen is capable of feeling shame, guilt, and remorse, then community service might be the best thing for her. I would suggest that she work on a cancer ward with lots of people whose chemotherapy has made their hair fall out. I think it's safe to say that Kaytlen should be watched very closely in the future.
I also think three-year-olds should be watched very closely. An adult hanging around toddlers, and displaying a bit too much interest, would raise red flags immediately with any mother. Maybe we should also be wary of older children. Kaytlen should have been in the mall giggling about boys, not victimizing a toddler.
The three-year-old's hair will grow back. I hope Kaytlen grows a conscience.
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